Dave Shields is The Official SelfGrowth.com Guide to "Relationship Advice". You can find complete information on Dave Shields and his products by visiting Kenosis Center.
Dear Dr. Romance:Thank you for your free articles, you have a lot of good stuff in there. A couple of the girls at work and I read your articles and get a good laugh. You're giving advice assuming that our lives are what YOU consider normal. You have a good job, make good money, live in a ... Views: 1573
I'm updating my book The Unofficial Guide to Dating Again. The new version will be called Dr. Romance's Guide to Dating in the Digital Age. The following article is excerpted from the new book.
A lot of the problems that come up in dating again are generated by social expectations (how ... Views: 1702
Whether someone is in a relationship with another person or not, they are still going to experience pain. This could relate to certain disagreements that one has with the person they are in a relationship with on one side and on the other, it could include different kinds of abuse for ... Views: 1536
Dear Dr. Romance:
I read your article about RESCUING: "Avoiding the Drama Triangle". I have been rescuing my mother from the big bad wolf my father. He would beat my mother, beat me, and beat my sister. I decided to rescue her. She decided for me to rescue her from her ... Views: 1658
How are you limiting yourself to limit your partner? What are the consequences of this?
"As long as you keep a person down, some part of you has to be down there to hold him down, so it means you cannot soar as you otherwise might." ~Marian Anderson 1902-1993, Concert ... Views: 1143
Hello everyone and welcome new members
One of the most common challenges I have heard my clients express is their difficulty to deal with or accept changes. Whether it is a change at work, at home, in their relationships, in their body, in their income or lifestyle; they all find it ... Views: 1740
As a Psychologist, Dr. Romance knows that when we're surrounded by images of violence, it becomes "normalized" and we stop seeing it as unusual.
Anyone who watches the news is becoming aware that we live in a violent society: According to the Peace Alliance:
• ... Views: 2377
Healthy relationships are built on a foundation, or infrastructure, of clear thinking, problem solving, and mutual support. Any willing couple can learn to build a happy relationship, if they stop reacting and learn to respond thoughtfully. As an individual you have ideas and beliefs about how ... Views: 1629
When we live with someone we have to share many things from food to bed. In couples, usually arguments arise due to having a contradictory point of view about one object. Do you want to know what is the real truth about your partner with respect to love, sex and intimacy? Are you aware of your ... Views: 1680
No matter what one has achieved or how old they are, they are going to times when they need another person’s guidance. And through another person’s guidance, one will learn about what they need to do in order to move forward in life or to undertake a certain task for instance.
This can take ... Views: 1757
Parents do have a strong effect on their childrens personalities. Usually their attitude towards their kids and towards others is very important. Most of parental concerns are about kids education, leisure, social life and behavior in general, in terms of how they are getting along with all ... Views: 1585
Dear Dr. Romance,
I love reading your articles here and on Divine Caroline, and I always look forward to the new ones. I have a long time online friend. We have been friends for about three-four years, and I even felt I was in love with him for a while - and told him so. He said he ... Views: 1575
Maintaining long-term relationships can be a complex undertaking that requires significant time and attention. When things begin to go wrong, partners can take proactive steps to get the relationship back on track. These efforts can often make the difference between strengthening the partnership ... Views: 1307
We see a lot of advice to write down your goals and dreams, but does it really help? Actually, it does. For one thing, it helps you get clear on exactly what you want, and makes the goals more imaginable. They seem more real when you have thought through them clearly and written them ... Views: 1837
Extreme makeovers are all the rage these days, with botox injection parties, and reality shows. Plastic surgery is on the rise. Many people are trying to match the extraordinary measures actors and actresses go through to look perfect on the screen. These are shortcuts taken to try to ... Views: 1550
What is radical ownership? It’s seeing and owning that life is a mirror reflecting me back to me. All the things that happen in my life have one thing in common…ME. I am the common denominator in all that keeps showing up. Mike Dooley describes it beautifully in his Notes from The Universe: ... Views: 3235
There are many things that one can do to make a positive impression and this is going to include the impression one makes when they meet someone for the first time and in their existing relationships.
And as human beings are not perfect, it is only natural that they are going to do things ... Views: 3169
Dear Dr. Romance
Your web-site impressed me and prompted this note, and I'd appreciate your thoughts.I am a reasonably well-educated individual which includes a couple of degrees in psychology and have been quite successful in my career. My wife who is also well-educated and our ... Views: 1548
Dear Lorraine,
I met a guy a year ago. We dated weekly for 2 months. Our dates were fun and passionate.
Then after that he started asking me out on dates every couple weeks or so for the next 4 months. The dates were still very passionate and so much fun.
One day he started to invite me ... Views: 7214
Drifting apart
“We’re drifting apart,” Sara said during our first meeting. Her husband, Daniel, agreed. They got along well enough, but lived more like roommates than a married couple.
It’s not just couples who drift apart, of course. Friends lose touch, colleagues move on, children forget ... Views: 1610
Dear friend, asking for what you want—and setting boundaries around what you don’t want—is a key life skill. But sometimes in our enthusiasm to practice this skill, we over-do our own assertiveness and end up with a partner who shuts down, gets angry or feels resentful. Here are four tips for ... Views: 1333
Discover how to manage panic in a way that allows it to dissipate rather than escalate.
"That's the strange thing about panic – when we lean into it, it loosens it's grip on us." Daniel Siegel, M.D.
"The power of reflection allows us to approach, rather than ... Views: 1240
Dear Dr. Romance:
I'm in high school and going through a rough patch in my relationship I have been with my boyfriendFor 17 months, sort of on an off, but 5 months ago we broke up and I slept With another male an yesterday he told me he had sex with another female after I told him ... Views: 1555
Everyone wants the best relationship they can have. The markers of a happy relationship are: Cooperation/partnership, mutuality, laughter and affection. Whether you’re in a relationship now or hoping to be, these keys will help you create a more loving and happier partnership.
... Views: 1555
Are you aware of needing to talk too much, or have you been with people who go on and on? There is a good reason for this.
I have found over the years of practicing Inner Bonding that the more I listen to myself, the less need I have for others to listen to me and hear me. Not that ... Views: 1248
Want to make sure your relationship is a success? Here are ten ways to bring the sparkle back and keep it going.
Dr. Romance's 10 Behaviors to Enhance Your Marriage
1. Talk frequently and honestly to each other --about your frustrations, about sex, about anger, about disappointment, ... Views: 1440
We have just until July 16th, 2014 to remember all the lessons and reasons for gratitude we've received from the passage of Jupiter in the sign of his exaltation, Cancer.
To review:
"What is the body? That shadow of a shadow of your love, that somehow contains the entire universe." ... Views: 2180
Just because someone is available at one point in time, it doesn’t mean that they will continue to be available. There is the chance that they will continue to be around or everything could change, and they may be extremely hard to get hold of.
However, without even going into how much ... Views: 9226
Dear Dr. Romance:
How can I sign up for your Happiness Tips newsletter? I want to read "The One Who Got Away." Also which article would you recommend reading in my case? I met a wonderful lady who loves dancing like I do, and for almost 8 months she has been getting her house ... Views: 1600
Dear Dr. Romance:
Nine months ago, I met a girl on Facebook. my words about many subject attract her , then she add me as her friends, and I discovered that she is lesbian. Before that, I didn'tknow there was lesbian world but when we chat I get to know her very ... Views: 1592
While some people will only know what it feels like to be with someone who can love them, there are going to be other people who only know what it feels like to be with someone who can’t love them. And this is going to mean that each person has a radically different experience on this ... Views: 1813
Although one may want to commit to a relationship, it doesn’t mean that they feel comfortable doing so. On one side they may have to have the need to be with someone and at the same time, it could be something they fear.
And while this could be something that only has an impact on their ... Views: 2317
Everyone starts out in life wanting to be safe, loved, and accepted. It’s in our DNA. Some of us figure out that the best way to do this is to put aside what we want or feel and allow someone else’s needs and feelings take precedence. This works for a while. It feels natural, and there’s less ... Views: 1595
Is your experience of love that it is scarce and limited?
"Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Love never decreases by being shared. ~Chinese Proverb
There seems to be a myth that love is scarce – that ... Views: 2483
Although some relationships are healthy, there are others that are completely dysfunctional. And when this is the case, they no longer have the ability to transform one’s life and to assist in their personal evolution.
That is unless one leaves the relationship and uses the experience to ... Views: 2036
At first you just want to help the one you love. He had a little bit too much to drink and you called in sick for him. She gambled away her funds and you transferred some money into her account. Or you covered for him when he embarrassed you with his dysfunctional behavior because he refused to ... Views: 1231
While relationships can be a combination of both giving and receiving, they can also end up being out of balance. It is then no longer an adult to adult relationship; it is something that takes on the characteristics of a parent-child relationship.
This might create the impression that they ... Views: 1973
Dear Dr. Romance:
I was wondering if I could ask you for some advice. I'm feeling so troubled. I got divorced a few years ago. Since then, I became involved with a man more than ten years older than me. I got a work assignment out of town, and he was adamant about keeping a ... Views: 1708
While some people are able to handle break ups reasonably well, there are other people who find them to be extremely difficult. And although it could all depend on how long the relationship has lasted for or on the kind of connection that they had with the other person, these two factors are not ... Views: 2009
Many couples are moved to write their own wedding ceremony: either because they
aren’t comfortable with the traditional ones, or they don’t belong to a
tradition that has a ceremony, or they just want to create something unique that
expresses their love and commitment. To help you ... Views: 1860
While having needs is part of being human, there is a big difference between having needs and being ‘needy’. When it comes to ones needs, one is going to be aware of what they are and then go about getting them met. And at times they will be met and at times they won’t be.
So in this case, ... Views: 4570
Do you sometimes look back and feel as if you have wasted your life caretaking others or trying to get others to take care of you?
Very often, in my work with my clients and with people who attend my workshops and Intensives, once they understand that they have been abandoning ... Views: 1168
While the ideal is for someone to live their truth, this is not always possible. And one reason why this is not possible is when they have a fear of being abandoned. Their choices and decisions in life are then going to be defined by this fear and what is actually right for them is going to be ... Views: 2223
Just because one is with someone who looks different to the person they were in a relationship with before, it doesn’t mean that their experience is going to be any different. And if ones last experience was generally healthy and functional, this is not going to be something that one is going to ... Views: 2241
And then, not expecting it, you become middle-aged…You achieve a wonderful freedom. It is a positive thing. Doris Lessing
Maturity or middle age means different things to different people, but for most, reaching a mature age means developing a new set of ... Views: 1404
While some people feel comfortable with relationships that are healthy and functional, there are other people who feel comfortable with relationships that are unhealthy and dysfunctional.
There are going to be people who have relationships that are unhealthy and they are aware of this. And ... Views: 1661
Self-determination and self-respect are the necessary keys to take full responsibility for and control over your own life. Without these keys, it’s easy to be caught up in the fantasy that there is someone else who will make it better, who can or should take total care of you, ... Views: 1988
Dear Dr. Romance:
My best friend isn't talkin with me since 2 months now. I'm frustrated. We are best friends since 3 yrs now. In feb suddenly she stopped talking. We just had a small fight as in regular nothing serious. When i asked she said she doesnt want to talk anything for ... Views: 2124
Do you know how to lovingly manage and heal the loneliness and heartbreak of a breakup?
Breakups are challenging for most of us. However, on top of the heartbreak and grief of a breakup, we often make it worse by the things we say to ourselves. What are some of the things you tell ... Views: 1386
When an obsession dominates us, it steals our will and saps all the pleasure out of life. We become numb to people and events, while our mind replays the same dialogue images, or words. In a conversation, we have little interest in what the other person is saying and soon talk about our ... Views: 1800