My Husband Won't Talk To Me About Our Relationship: How To Deal With A Spouse Who Doesn't Want To Talk
Marriage is all about open and honest communication, right? It's supposed to be about that but sometimes life takes control and a couple ends up in a place where they barely communicate about anything of substance at all. Sure, they exchange pleasantries in the morning and when they come home from work, but the real meat and potatoes of their relationship is never discussed. Typically, this happens when one partner shuts down emotionally and pulls back. They stop sharing, which results in the relationship becoming strained and tenuous. Dealing with a spouse who doesn't want to talk is certainly a challenge but it should never be viewed as insurmountable. If you're the spouse who is ready, willing and eager to share, there are certain ways you can encourage your partner to come back out of their emotional shell and communicate with you again.
Pushing your spouse to talk if they are unwilling to is rarely a good idea. If a person isn't open to talking about their feelings and the person they are closest to repeatedly pushes, they'll eventually shut down completely. They'll feel cornered and they may even feel so pressured that they'll simply agree to everything their spouse says. Although it may make you momentarily feel better if your spouse agrees with your feelings, you'll soon discover how unhappy they still are. A person will only openly share if they feel they can do so in a safe and non-judgmental way. You have to create that type of environment for your partner so he or she will feel it's okay to reveal themselves.
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The path to do this takes time and patience. You must explain to your spouse that you respect their desire to keep things to themselves but your marriage is very important to you. Tell them that you want to talk about what you both feel and are willing to do so in a way that you both feel safe. Try and stress to your partner that your goal isn't just to satisfy your need to talk, but you are more interested in hearing what they are feeling and thinking about the marriage. Before you end this conversation, explain again that you aren't looking for any sort of confrontation or conflict and that you recognize that there are issues in the marriage that you both need to work on and you're willing to do that.
Keep talking to your spouse about whatever he or she wants to discuss. Ask questions about their daily experiences at work and what they are looking forward to tomorrow or next week. If you take a continued, active interest in your partner's life, he or she, will start to see that you really do care and are willing to wait to discuss important things until they are ready.
When the day does come when your spouse is ready to communicate with you about the marriage, you have to be calm, centered and cool. Allow them the floor to speak and try and keep your emotions as in control as you can. If they share difficult things, it's important that you try not to absorb them too personally. You have to stay objective and you need to be willing to see that you both have made your fair share of mistakes along the way. If you work slowly together, communication can begin to improve in your marriage to the point that you both feel willing to share everything again.
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Mistakes can happen in any type of relationship, whether it is a marriage or a friendship. Women are more emotional beings as compared to men, which means that they have a stronger emotional connection to a problem, and they tend to want to talk about in the quest of solving it.
On the other hand, men are on the other side of the spectrum. Most men do not like talking about how they are feeling or showing emotions to whatever may be going on. Some men may opt to withdraw from the problem with the hope that it will just sort itself out. Part of this may be as a result of the perception that strong men are not supposed to show their emotions because it might be looked at as a sign of weakness.
Women love talking about how they are feeling, and communication is vital to the survival of every relationship. However, if your spouse is extremely tired from a hard day at the office, and you bombard him with issues the second he walks in the door, chances are you will not get the attention that you want from him. At least wait for him to get home and relax, and it might help to ask him about how his day was.
He is more likely to respond in a positive manner if he is relaxed and he does not feel like he is being attacked or blamed. If you approach your spouse in a way that makes him feel blamed or criticized, or maybe you are yelling at him instead of talking to him in a calm manner, chances are that you are not going to get his attention or his sympathy. He will probably shut down emotionally and you will not have the desired result that you are hoping for.
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If you do manage to get your husbands attention, and you manage to talk to him in a calm manner, then half the battle is won. You have told him how you feel about a certain situation, do not now start nagging him about it. Nagging will not get him to do what you want him to do any sooner, if anything, it will irritate him to no end. Just stay sweet and loving, that will be a better way to get him to do what you want him to do.
Most women tend to use sex to punish their husbands if they feel like they are not getting what they want from their husbands. This could backfire on you, because your husband will feel rejected, and this will make him even less likely give in to your demands.
Do not be possessive about his movements, trust him and give him his space, especially if he has not given you a reason not to trust him. Be genuinely interested in his day, and let him share whatever he chooses to share with you.
Allow him to spend time with his friends and family without you always being there. You both need to have your own friends and lives apart from each other.
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Your marriage started at the highest note possible - those grand marriage ceremonies and a honeymoon like a dream. But you now ask yourself constantly - "how do I save my marriage"?
It is a shame how all marriages start at the highest note possible. From there, "down" is the only way to go, how many couples do you know who have lived for years like they are in their honeymoon?
Maintaining a marriage requires more than self sacrifice. The key to maintaining a healthy marriage (and saving your marriage, if it is very troubled) is to make sure the "love level" between the couple is well balanced. What do I mean by that? I mean that - spouses have to make sure they are making neither more nor less sacrifices than the other spouse.
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If one side is making much more sacrifices than the other, this means that he or she loves his or her spouse more than the spouse loves him her. This imbalance always leads to trouble - the gap widens every moment, and sooner or later one spouse finds himself or herself begging the other just so keep and save the marriage.
If there is such a gap, the spouse making more sacrifices should always seek ways to improve this condition. The best way is - simply not making the sacrifices the other side demands. This will show him or her that he or she doesn't have absolute control over you, and you are not completely accessible to your spouse. This will raise your attractiveness to your spouse a lot more - because the easier you can access something, this means the less you are going to want it.
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Let me start by saying, this isn't going to be easy. If that's what you thought then you might as well skip this article and keep looking for pie in the sky. Ok, glad we got that out of the way. Saving your marriage, especially if you've already been to counseling might take even more work.
You see, traditional counseling has a huge flaw. The biggest problem that I know of for sure, is the failure to treat the marriage as a separate entity all together. Your marriage is like a living being. It needs nurturing much the same as any living thing. This might sound crazy to some I know, it did to me at first as well. But, you need to really begin seeing it this way if you're going to really save your marriage not just patch it up.
What do I really need to do to make my spouse love me again? Is it possible to build massive attraction in my spouse?
To learn the killer, advanced strategies to save your marriage, simply click here!
Counseling has about a 20% success rate. Not very good odds for those of us who are serious about saving our marriage, I mean imagine if the brakes on your car had about the same success rate. Why would I put it like that you might ask? Well, I consider both to be life changing experiences. You see, spending a ton of money on something like counseling with such a high failure rate seems kind of pointless wouldn't you agree? So, stop!
What you might be interested to know though, is there are plans that can help save your marriage that you probably never heard of. Most people ask others like friends or close family for advice, but like everyone else they've only ever been exposed to a few mainstream methods like counseling, which for the most part obviously just doesn't work. What I would ask of you though, is would you put your faith in a method that's been proven to work with an over 90% success rate?
Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause your spouse to feel even more distant from you. You can make your spouse fall back in love with you, all over again.
You don't have to worry about whether your spouse is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make them fall hopelessly in love with you.
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