Divorce is Your New Beginning - Yes Really!

If you’re heading for a divorce you may be surprised to hear this but the best part of your life is about to begin. Gone is your husband and his demands on your time and now you have a fresh start and a welcome return to the girl you once new and loved. It’ll be different than from when you were single before and nowadays there are fewer taboos about being divorced, you’ll also be surprised about how sophisticated and organized the dating scene can be for people of any age.

Well I may be jumping the gun there. But when the crying and disbelief is over, and it will be, and your children feel like they can leave you to be OK by yourself, you’ll experience a multitude of feelings sometimes all at once. Sorrow, hatred, feeling vengeful or full of self-pity and anger will all have their moment. Understand that your life has not been wasted. You chose to spend many years being a great wife and mother, now it’s your chance to become a great independent woman. It is another way of being and entirely different to the one you have been used to, but don’t misinterpret ‘independent’ for cold-hearted and alone, think more freedom, control and adventure.

When you’re ready and can start to look ahead and think now it’s my time, you’ll see just what surprising opportunities are available. Currently the future may look lonely, sad and purposeless, yet in time it will transform into precious ‘me time’, a time to explore life again away from routines and responsibilities, to challenge yourself in new ways and evolve. There will also be a lot of firsts to look forward to; your first evening out, your first holiday without him, your first new hair style and your first post marital date. You’ll meet and make new friends, your whole life will take on such a new direction that you’ll look back one day and find it hard to imagine being the person you are now, feeling what you are feeling now. The myth is that when the marriage is over, so are you, in truth, that’s where it can all begin.

Your children can enjoy a whole new relationship with you as mother and friend. Be sure to make plans to do fun things together ensuring you talk openly with them while being careful not to offload. Your first mile stone will be next Christmas. He may want your children with him, whatever you end up deciding, ensure sure you have a fabulous time arranged well in advance. Instead of dreading it, take it as personal challenge to make Christmas a real celebration trying to out do yourself each year.

Emotionally, give yourself time. There will be highs and lows, expect a roller coaster ride but also expect to move on. Never lose sight of the fact that you have huge opportunity to see and experience life in a whole new way, and who knows there may well be romance in it for you too. It is always entirely up to you as to what you accept and reach for, No one can do that for you. But your future is in your hands so trust yourself and enjoy the ride.