The Vaue of Indecision

"Don't just do something, sit there." This could be a slogan in my messages from the universe lately.

I was at the computer tonight, when suddenly my office (and entire building) went black. I carefully groped my way down stairs, found matches, a candle. I was planning on writing and rehearsing for upcoming speaking. It felt weird to have this "can't do anything" wave come in. However, I had just returned from an intense weekend with Caroline Myss, and Entering the Castle work. So the idea that the universal greater life force wants me to let go and stop trying to be productive felt very familiar. Sitting in the dark felt uncomfortable and comforting all at once. Surrender to Higher power vs. fret about utility power :-)

The lights came back on. Curious about what I should do for the rest of the evening, I drew an Angel Card, asking for what I need to be alert to. Each card has one word, and a little reference book where I find additional insights/ guidance. Tonight I drew a BLANK. This is a first. I just laughed. OK,OK, I get it. Surrender to the nothingness.

With Caroline Myss at CMED Institute, we spent deep time inside our “cocoons” …a “dark”, quiet space, where we can’t effort/do/handle anything…Where God does not want or need our interference. (If you prematurely pierce the Cocoon, even in the effort to be helpful, you kill the Butterfly.) In the cocoon, we surrender and Allow whatever issues, things to figure out, etc. to be DISSOLVED into Holiness/Grace. To give way for our Butterfly consciousness/self to emerge.

Tonight, while looking for something else, I found this essay about indecision:

I was invited to contribute to an article about happiness (for SELF magazine) on “how indecision could be a useful quality.” Intriguing query, hmm?

To over-simplify, let’s say that real happiness comes from making choices that are in tune with your true self. Not rushing a decision and reflecting before saying “yes” or “no” could be essential to creating a fulfilling life. How many times have we been on autopilot, not quite thoughtful enough about a decision that may throw us out of balance? (Chronic indecision could be a sign that you are not connected to your authentic self, values and real priorities. Or there may be some fear or healthy intuition that deserves attention before taking a leap.)

One of my favorite formulas is “Awareness- Responsibility- Choice.” Sometimes it serves us well to linger in Awareness—to intentionally not make a decision, a plan or anything proactive. It’s our job to wait… listen… be open… be willing and that’s it. Even hearing Paul McCartney singing “Let it Be” on the radio hit me in a new way.

I’m listening to a Wayne Muller tape while walking- “Sabbath.” Today’s walk featured a powerful question from Eastern traditions- Are you willing to let the mud of your thoughts (or of your life) settle and wait for the water to become clearer?

Muller speaks of coming from a quiet knowing of rightness rather than that desperate need to act. He sparks provocative challenges about how we feel seduced…to be effective, powerful or important. Those temptations can lead us astray. With letting things be, with “white space” and rest-- we gain the nourishment, wisdom, clarity and courage to be who we are meant to be.

Questions for YOU:
How much white space is in your life? When and how would it serve to well to “hit the pause button” rather than decide? What is your temptation to "pierce the cocoon" prematurely and thus destroy your "butterfly" self or squelch that deeper/higher truth? Get curious about your own unique process and signals, calling you to wait and wonder and trust that you will also know when to get into action.