The Human Moment

It’s no secret – we have become dependent on our electronic workmates. Our Blackberries, PDAs and smart phones are here to stay. Few of us can imagine what it was like working in the days before email, faxes, voice mail and next-day couriers. For those of us who remember, it’s hard to believe there was a time when there wasn’t a computer on every desk and your phone couldn't fit in your pocket, let alone make a fashion statement.

But as old-fashioned as those days seem, they were full of interaction – human interaction. Human moments need our physical, emotional and intellectual presence. And this presence needs our attention and energy to be focused on the other person. In our speeded-up world it seems that we feel like we no longer have the time, let alone the energy for these human moments. Yet we can all agree that like exercise – it’s something we should do more of and when done regularly, the benefits are apparent and welcome.

What cost have we paid by trading human interactions for electronic leashes? In the workplace the list is endless: hurt feelings, disrespect, isolation, low morale, wasted work effort, jealously, team dysfunction, alienation, distrust, backstabbing, discontent.

So what can we do? It probably sounds too obvious – walk down the hall or if you work alone, pick up the phone. If it’s this self-evident, what stops us from such a simple action? I suggest it’s because we too frequently focus on the task and not on the relationship.

I certainly don’t want to suggest that email hasn’t been a tremendous asset and boost to productivity. But taken too far we can loose sight of the fact that we work for and with other people. The fact is we need human contact to thrive and be at our best. One of the fundamental human needs is to be seen, heard and understood.

When we rely on email and voice mail we stop fulfilling this need. And worse yet, we take away the chance to clarify our intent and understand the impact of our message on others. These gaps in the communication channels are in real danger of being filled with all the wrong emotions. The misunderstandings that can spring from these impersonal communications are costly in terms of worry, lost productivity and hurt feelings let alone the wasted work effort.

What should leaders do?

1. Recognize the need for human moments by intentionally interacting with your staff.
Spend 5 minutes each day simply talking with someone on your team. Talk about them – not you. Find out more about what interests them, keep it light and keep it focused on them. Set a goal to learn at least one new thing about each person during the conversation, something that makes them unique.

2. For the next 4 days, convert at least 3 emails a day to a human moment.
Literally ‘step away from the keyboard’ at least 3 times each day. If you work in an office have the discussion in person. If you work alone pick up the phone instead of sending an email. And if you get voicemail resist the urge to “leave a detailed message”. Be persistent until you connect. After each time you substitute a real conversation for an email message, spend a few minutes to reflect on the value of ‘stepping away from the keyboard’. How did it serve your relationship with the other person? In what ways was your investment of time in the relationship worthwhile? How did it change the value of the communication?

3. Spread the word.
Once you’ve tried it yourself, encourage others on your team to do the same. Don’t make it an edict. Give them a chance to think about the value of the human moment and how it could benefit the team as a whole if there were more opportunities to connect, clarify and confirm intent in person. What would be the value to the team if they spent a few more minutes each day ensuring that each person on the team had a chance to be seen, heard and understood? Set a goal to see how many human moments your team can accumulate in a month.