How does love show up in your life now? Are you lonely, searching for a soul mate and instead finding losers and misfits? Are you anxious for that moment of letting go, breathing deeply, and finally feeling loved? Are you discouraged by the number of truly bad dates you’ve had? Are you discouraged by the lack of dates? If this is you, there’s good news and bad news ahead for you. First, the bad news.

The bad news is that you are creating your situation. That’s right - whatever is happening now in your love life is a result of all the previous thoughts and beliefs that you have held about it. The mind is a powerful tool. Whatever we think creates the energy that we put out in the world, and that energy attracts back circumstances that mirror our thoughts. Here’s an example.

Joel wants to find a beautiful and sweet woman to marry. But Joel has a whole series of thoughts about love based on prior experience. Having been burned in the past, he is fearful of being burned again. So he has a lot of thoughts about how easily he was fooled by a woman who didn’t really love him and who cheated on him. He has a lot of thoughts about how many men he knows who have been burned by the women they tried to love. He therefore believes that there are very few really good, loving women out there and that he has to wade through an ocean of untrustworthy women in order to find the one.

Now, imagine the energy that Joel exudes as he socializes and dates. His fear of getting hurt translates into suspicion and wariness. He holds back when he meets someone new, constantly checking her behavior to try and discern whether or not he can trust her. He steps forward to engage, then steps back to check her out. As you might imagine, this pushes women away. She steps back because his energy conveys a mixed, confusing signal. And that becomes the self-fulfilling prophecy for Joel. Once again, he thinks, he’s put himself out there to a woman only to be hurt.

Now for the good news. The future of love in your life is now. You can choose today to unearth all of the negative thoughts and beliefs you’ve held about love, excavate them thorougly, wave good-bye to them, and begin creating all new positive thoughts about love. As you anchor yourself to beliefs about love that empower you, you exude an energy that attracts others who have positive beliefs about love. Try this exercise.

Carve out some quiet time, get paper and pen, and just outflow onto paper in bullets all of your most recent thoughts and beliefs about love. Don’t edit as you go - give yourself total freedom to acknowledge what’s in there. When you are done, look at the list and see the connection between what you’ve been thinking and what you are experiencing. That’s the beginning of a profound change in your life. Now, if you want to anchor this lesson and make sure that you continue on the path to change, get a coach. Contact SinglesCoach and we’ll hook you up with a trained, certified Singlescoach who will keep you on the path to creating an all-new future of love

Author's Bio: 

Nina Atwood is the Singlescoach® and a leading dating and relationship expert with all the answers. Through her professional relationship advice, she has put many men and women back on the road to personal growth, dating success, and inevitably finding their soul mate. She is a licensed therapist and nationally known dating coach with three published self-help books on communication and love. Her expertise is regularly sought by national media. She has appeared on numerous regional television shows and hundreds of radio shows nationally. Nina's web site, www.singlescoach.com is accessed daily by thousands of single men and women seeking leading edge relationship advice. Nina's newest book, Temptations of the Single Girl: The Ten Dating Traps You Must Avoid, was released in January 2008. Nina Atwood takes us on an inspiring journey of self-discovery and relationship recovery in this thoroughly modern fable. Ms. Atwood teaches the reader to pin point which temptations they must learn to resist so that she can claim the happiness — and the man — that she deserves.

When she’s not busy helping people transform their relationships, Nina works with key level executives as an executive coach and trainer; she also facilitates CEO roundtable groups through Vistage International, the world’s largest CEO membership organization. Nina shares the dance of life with her Soul Partner and husband, Mark, and their three cats in Dallas, Texas.