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Marriage Therapy: 8 Signs You Should See a Marriage Counselor - Dave Turo-Shields- ***Relationship Advice: Are You Giving To Get Love? - by Submitted on Jul 19, 2016 from Margaret PaulBy Margaret Paul, Ph.D. July 04, 2016 Are you giving love to your partner or others for the joy of giving, or are you giving to get love, attention or approval? I received the following email, asking for my help: "Hi, my name is Adam. I am living with my parents and I'm thinking of ...
Views: 1113 - ***Relationship Advice: Resolving Conflict When Someone Is Closed - by Submitted on Apr 05, 2016 from Margaret PaulBy Margaret Paul, Ph.D. April 04, 2016 ________________________________________ Learn how to resolve conflict when your partner or another person isn't available for mutual conflict resolution. ________________________________________ Loving relationships create a safe arena in ...
Views: 1363 - ***RELATIONSHIP GOALS VS RELATIONSHIP NO’S - by Submitted on Oct 31, 2017 from Briana DaiHey, Beauty Boss! Your time is valuable. If you’re trying to up-level your boss status, then being attuned to not ONLY how you spend your time, but ALSO who you spend it with is key. Jim Rohn said it best: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” I couldn’t ...
Views: 660 - ***Relationships: Are You A Taker Or A Caretaker – Or Both? - by Submitted on Jul 19, 2016 from Margaret PaulBy Margaret Paul, Ph.D. July 18, 2016 If your relationships are challenging, you might want to gain awareness and understanding of the taker-caretaker relationship system. As we all know, relationships are generally very challenging, and one of the reasons is that we bring into our ...
Views: 1124 - ***Relationships: Do You Have the Same Conflicts Over and Over? - by Submitted on Apr 07, 2011 from Margaret PaulKari and Rudy consulted with me because they kept having conflicts over the same issues over and over - primarily money, chores, and child-rearing. They were nearing the decision to separate, believing that they were incompatible.I asked them to pick one of the issues and they picked a recent ...
Views: 2351 - ***Relationships: Empathy Vs. Responsibility for Feelings - by Submitted on Oct 04, 2008 from Margaret PaulWilliam grew up with a mother who was depressed much of her life. As the oldest of three children with a father who was not around much, William took on a lot of responsibility for his mother's wellbeing. He grew up as a kind and caring man, believing that he was responsible for another's ...
Views: 3228 - ***Relationships: Hanging in Through the Hard Stuff - by Submitted on Oct 25, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Do you have the courage to hang in through the hard times and do the learning and healing we all need to do to create a loving relationship? ________________________________________ Are you committed to working through the difficult and painful ...
Views: 1241 - ***Relationships: When Is It Okay To Call It Quits? - by Submitted on Oct 11, 2016 from Margaret PaulBy Margaret Paul, Ph.D. October 10, 2016 Do you feel ready to leave your relationship but wonder whether or not this is the right time to call it quits? Many of my clients struggle with knowing when it's the right time to end a relationship. Mary asked me: "I married my first ...
Views: 1311 - ***Relationships: When To Let Go and Move On - by Submitted on Jan 10, 2014 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Are you staying in an abusive relationship because you believe you can change it or not be bothered by it? ________________________________________ The question of when to leave a relationship comes up over and over with my clients and with the ...
Views: 1259 - ***Relationships: Why Do You Attack and Blame? - by Submitted on Jan 12, 2009 from Margaret Paul"A woman who I was dating and who I really liked ended our relationship and is dating someone else. I see her all the time at the market and I feel like yelling at her." "I keep vowing not to, but I keep getting really angry at my husband when he is distant." "I lost my temper with my ...
Views: 2290 - ***Romance And The Power Of Hugs - by Submitted on Aug 18, 2016 from Margaret PaulBy Margaret Paul, Ph.D. Hugs can be romantic or disconnecting, depending on your intent in hugging. Has the romance gone out of your relationship? Has work and/or parenthood left you no time for romance, connection and intimacy? A major challenge for parents, especially new parents, is ...
Views: 1120 - ***Self-Care: Are You Resistant to Health and Fitness? - by Submitted on Dec 18, 2014 from Margaret PaulDo you find yourself resisting or procrastinating taking loving care of yourself? ________________________________________ Of course you want to be healthy and fit! Who doesn't? But are you always motivated and willing to do what you need to do to create health and fitness? Are you ...
Views: 992 - ***Self-love or Narcissism? - by Submitted on Oct 06, 2015 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Discover that self-love and narcissism are actually opposites! ________________________________________ It's interesting to me how often people confuse self-love with narcissism – because they are actually opposites in many ways. Ramona ask a ...
Views: 1799 - ***Self-Love vs. Selfless Love - by Submitted on Jun 16, 2015 from Margaret PaulIs there a difference between loving yourself and loving others, or are they one and the same? ________________________________________ Have you ever been confused about the boundary between loving yourself and also being loving to others? This is what Rosanna is struggling with. She ...
Views: 1595 - ***Shyness - by Submitted on Apr 25, 2014 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Are you shy? Is your shyness getting in the way of your connection with others? ________________________________________ Have you struggled with being a shy person? Lily asks: "I try hard to overcome my shyness and reluctance to stand out, speak ...
Views: 1405 - ***Single? What Are Your False Beliefs About Relationships? - by Submitted on Dec 06, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ If you are single, do you relate to any of these false beliefs about being in a relationship? ________________________________________ I have discovered that many of the single people I work with have a number of false beliefs about relationships. If ...
Views: 1319 - ***Soul Freedom Exercise (12): Sacraments of Our Lives - by Submitted on Nov 20, 2008 from Al Link and Pala CopelandSOUL FREEDOM EXERCISES Exercises To Do Together by Al Link and Pala Copeland SACRAMENTS OF OUR LIVES Traditionally defined as the outward and visible sign of an inner and invisible grace, a sacrament is something you elevate to the status of holy or sacred. You elevate it to this status by ...
Views: 1233 - ***Soul Freedom Exercise (18): Pearls of Wisdom - by Submitted on Dec 05, 2008 from Al Link and Pala CopelandSOUL FREEDOM EXERCISES Exercises To Do Together by Al Link and Pala Copeland PEARLS OF WISDOM Time for Exercise: five to 15 minutes Properties Required: none Steps: Once per week sit down together and share two or three inspiring thoughts or quotes you have gathered over the ...
Views: 1255 - ***Speaking Up For Your Inner Child - by Submitted on Aug 18, 2016 from Margaret PaulBy Margaret Paul, Ph.D. Do you speak up for your inner child – your feeling self – when someone is judgmental toward you, or they are blaming you or discounting you? What do you generally do when you are in an interaction with someone and you are feeling anxious, scared or lonely from ...
Views: 1089 - ***Standing Strong In Your Own Truth - by Submitted on Dec 06, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Are you able to stand in your truth, or do you let others talk you out of what you know is right for you? ________________________________________ When the biblical floods hit Colorado on September 12th, I texted my daughter to see if they were okay. ...
Views: 1539 - ***Staying Centered in Conflict - by Submitted on Mar 22, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Are you conflict-avoidant? Does conflict terrify you? Discover how to heal this. ________________________________________ Angela writes: "I avoid conflict as much as possible because I cannot handle the anxiety it produces in me, as if I am going ...
Views: 1321 - ***Staying Connected As A Loving Adult In The Face Of Conflict - by Submitted on Aug 23, 2016 from Margaret PaulHave you found it hard to stay open in the face of conflict? Does your wounded self quickly take over, and your conflict resolution skills disappear? Allison asked me the following question: "I practice Inner Bonding when I feel I need it. I basically feel connected and when something is ...
Views: 964 - ***Sustaining Love: The Importance Of Emotional Intimacy - by Submitted on Sep 12, 2016 from Margaret PaulBy Margaret Paul, Ph.D. September 12, 2016 Emotional intimacy is essential for sustaining love in a committed relationship. Discover how to create and nourish this deep connection. Loving coupleThink back to times you felt 'in love.' Aside from chemistry, what was it that drew you to ...
Views: 1131 - ***Take the Women’s Love Quiz: Part 2 of 3 - by Submitted on May 23, 2014 from Dr. LeslieBeth (LB) WishDo you want to be happy in love? If you answered, “Yes”, then you need to know the signs of a good relationship. Common sense will tell you to find someone you trust and like. But you can learn a whole more with research-based advice that delves deeper. ...
Views: 1601 - ***Ten Tips to Kick-Start Positive Change - by Submitted on Jul 14, 2011 from Bobbi PalmerAll right, ladies. I trust we all got through Valentine’s Day, right? But let's make this your last February fourteenth when you don’t have a fab date! To do that, you’re going to have to make some changes. Put simply, stagnation is never good. When you refuse to change or embrace new ...
Views: 1808 - ***The Aftermath of a Relationship with a Narcissist - by Submitted on Feb 23, 2016 from Margaret PaulBy Margaret Paul Ph.D. February 22, 2016 Have you been in love with a narcissist? Are you now going through pain and confusion as a result of the relationship ending? Have you been in a relationship with a narcissist? Many people are very vulnerable to getting into a relationship with a ...
Views: 1507 - ***The Art of Conversation - by Submitted on Feb 08, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Do you have mostly one-way or two-way conversations? What kind of conversationalist are you? ________________________________________ What happens in your conversations with people? The kind of conversation you have with someone says a lot about both ...
Views: 1564 - ***The Art of Setting Boundaries - by Submitted on Feb 01, 2013 from Margaret PaulDiscover what a boundary is and what it isn't. Merilee wrote the following question to me in one of my relationship webinars: "Hi Dr. Paul -- One of my biggest struggles is being open to giving and receiving love, but also setting boundaries. I want to be loving, not ...
Views: 1549 - ***The Challenge of Accepting Our Helplessness Over Others - by Submitted on Oct 06, 2011 from Margaret PaulHelplessness is a very difficult feeling. It can even feel like life or death to those of us who were left to cry for hours as babies, with no one coming to help us. Because we were so helpless over ourselves as babies and small children, it can trigger feelings of panic. It's hard to remember, ...
Views: 3078 - ***The Challenge of Conflict - by Submitted on Feb 14, 2013 from Margaret PaulDo you try to control during conflict, or are you conflict avoidant? Neither works well to resolve conflict. Discover what does work! Leslie asks: "When I approach my partner to address an issue, he only sees me as controlling and creating 'controversy'. He can barely stand ...
Views: 1426 - ***The Circle of Love: The Highest Experience in Life - by Submitted on Mar 24, 2015 from Margaret PaulA circle of love is the result of people being together with open hearts, and is the most wonderful experience in life. Have you ever experienced a circle of love? A circle of love occurs when two or more people are together with completely open hearts - open with their essence, with each ...
Views: 1539 - ***The Devastation of Inner Emptiness - by Submitted on Sep 02, 2011 from Margaret PaulOne of the sad truths in our society is how empty many people feel, and the devastation their emptiness causes others through their resulting addictive behavior.We have all heard about the sexual acting-out of Anthony Weiner, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tiger Woods, Bill Clinton and John Edwards. We ...
Views: 2741 - ***The Fear of Being Duped - by Submitted on May 17, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Is being duped something you avoid at all costs, or are you willing to be duped in order to keep your heart open? ________________________________________ No one likes being duped. It feels awful to realize that someone has pulled the wool over our ...
Views: 1420 - ***The Fear of Being Excluded - by Submitted on Feb 01, 2016 from Margaret PaulBy Margaret Paul, Ph. D. February 01, 2016 ___________________________________________________________ You CAN heal a fear of being excluded and rejected! ___________________________________________________________ Many of us grew up experiencing, in one way or another, the pain of ...
Views: 1361 - ***The Foundation for Abundance - by Submitted on Mar 29, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Are you aware of the vast difference between expressing gratitude from your ego wounded self or from your loving adult self? ________________________________________ "Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all ...
Views: 1384 - ***The Gifts Of Laughter And Tears - by Submitted on May 24, 2016 from Margaret PaulBy Margaret Paul, Ph.D. May 23, 2016 When you do not allow yourself to express yourself with laughter and tears, physical pain, due to stress and a lack of passion for life, may be the result. Ron grew up in a household where laughter and tears were never expressed. Anger was the main ...
Views: 1216 - ***The John Edwards Affair - by Submitted on Jun 22, 2009 from Colin TippingIf I had known earlier what I have just learned from reading excerpts, in Newsweek, taken from Elizabeth Edwards' recently released book, I would have gone out and put money on the absolute inevitability of her husband's infidelity. I am quite certain that John Edwards had no choice in the ...If ...
Views: 3368 - ***The Myth of Explaining and Defending - by Submitted on May 12, 2011 from Margaret Paul"What's the matter with you?" "How could you do that?""Explain yourself, young lady/young man.""Why are you dressed like that?""Why are you late again?""What did you do to your hair!"How often did you hear some variation of this when ...
Views: 2965 - ***The Need for Touch - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2011 from Margaret PaulWe are born with the need to touch and be touched, skin-to-skin. If you were not held and touched with love as you were growing up, then this might be a very deep need for you. But even if you were held and touched with love, you still need it today. It is a basic need.But not all touch meets ...
Views: 2476 - ***The Power of Appreciating Yourself - by Submitted on Sep 20, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Do you often feel unappreciated? ________________________________________ "I'm a very nice person. I'm a good guy and I do nice things for people, but they never seem to appreciate me, and I feel angry about that," said Martin in one of our first ...
Views: 1659 - ***The Power Of Thankfulness - by Submitted on Nov 25, 2007 from Brenda ShoshannaThere is one sure fire medicine which cures all pain and opens the way for your greater good. It allows you to sleep well at night, wake up refreshed and filled with enthusiasm for your daily tasks. This medicine is abundantly available, has no side effects and can be taken in large or small ...
Views: 6343 - ***The Terror that Triggers Protective Behaviors - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Do you know what triggers you and why? ________________________________________ Have you ever found yourself suddenly feeling angry or scared or shut down when a moment ago you were feeling fine? People or situations can trigger us into rage, ...
Views: 1695 - ***Tone Our Language - by Submitted on Feb 23, 2015 from Barbara SteppTONE OUR LANGUAGE By Barbara Stepp, NLP, DHE® Master Trainer, Clinical Hypnotherapist IN OUR PREVIOUS newsletters, we talked about our language, the words we think and speak. We said that words create our reality. If we don't say it, we don't get to do it or we don't have to do it. What ...
Views: 3621 - ***Trusting Others Starts With Self-Trust - by Submitted on Nov 10, 2015 from Margaret Paul_______________________________________________________ We want to be able to trust others to be honest and reliable. Yet are you honest and reliable with yourself? Do you trust your own inner knowing? You will not be able to trust others until you are trustworthy with ...
Views: 1406 - ***What Are You Waiting For? - by Submitted on Jan 24, 2014 from Margaret PaulIs there something you've always wanted to do but have never done? What’s stopping you? “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.” –Chinese Proverb How often do you say to yourself, "I wish I had…..?" ...
Views: 1327 - ***What Does It Mean To Be Love Addicted? - by Submitted on Jul 12, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ How do you know if you are love addicted? Discover the answer in this article. ________________________________________ Our culture seems to promote love addiction to such an extent that it seems like a healthy way to relate. While it is very common, ...
Views: 1631 - ***What if You Knew That You Are Never Alone - by Submitted on Nov 13, 2014 from Margaret PaulYour spiritual guidance is always here for you, but you need to know how to access it. Connecting with Spirit is simple, but not always easy. ________________________________________ What if you knew that you are never alone - that you are always being guided by a personal source of ...
Views: 1147 - ***What Prevents You From Loving Yourself? - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2015 from Margaret PaulIn your daily life, are you guided by fear or by love? What are the fears that block being loving to yourself and others? How often is the question, "What is loving to myself and others - what is in my highest good and the highest good of another?" the question that guides your actions? Is ...
Views: 1439 - ***When is Anger good and when is Anger bad? - by Submitted on Nov 18, 2013 from Julie HartAnger is the natural emotion we humans experience in response to a perceived threat, frustration, assault or obstruction to our humanity and who we are. Anger can basically fall into 2 categories: - 1. Our native response to not being taken care of properly or our needs being met (which is ...
Views: 2165 - ***When Not To Start A Relationship - by Submitted on Jan 28, 2008 from Margaret PaulHave you recently ended a relationship or are you recently divorced? Are you thinking about dating again? Many times, putting yourself back into the dating scene is a good idea. But how can you know when it is time to start a new relationship? Here are some questions to ponder: 1. Are you ...
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