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Dr. Romance writes:
As a counselor, I’ve helped lots of couples solve difficult relationship problems, but it isn’t always possible. If your relationship feels detrimental to your mental, emotional or physical well-being, it's time for a change. If your lover has or develops severe problems ... Views: 1346
Dr. Romance on men and biological clocks:
Yes, a man can feel the need to grow up and have a family, especially when he finds a woman who inspires those feelings in him. The problem is, how can you be sure the match is a good one?
You’d think the positive signs in a date would be ... Views: 866
How can you make sure your marriage doesn't fall apart when you find yourself involved in a major scandal or other disaster? First things first, don’t blame each other. When we’re under attack it’s easy to panic, and panic can lead to fighting. Stay as calm as you can, and remain a team. ... Views: 1007
For you men who ask, "What Do Women Want?" Here are Dr. Romance's 10 Things Married Women Want:
Women value intimacy, safety for themselves and their children, and emotional connection. Therefore, they long for the following qualities in a man:
1. Good Judgment Good ... Views: 836
Many years ago an Edwin Markham poem inspired me, and I’ve tried to live by it:
"Outwitted"
He drew a circle that shut me out —Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.But Love and I had the wit to win:We drew a circle that took him in!
As Markham says, we could see people who are distant or ... Views: 3294
Dr. Romance writes: Many years ago, an Edwin Markham poem inspired me, and I’ve tried to live by it:
Outwitted
He drew a circle that shut me out —Heretic, rebel, a thing to flout.But Love and I had the wit to win:We drew a circle that took him in!
As Markham says, we could see people ... Views: 868
Dr. Romance writes: Have you noticed that nagging, whining, complaining, sternly directing, yelling, criticizing and freaking out don’t seem to get you what you want from a partner, family member, friend, colleague or child? In a previous article, “Asking for What You Want” I explained how ... Views: 952
Dr. Romance writes:
There are a few simple communication techniques that work like magic in relationships, whether with committed partners, friends, co-workers or relatives. One of the most effective is reassurance, which is simple to do , and calms both of you down, which allows your ... Views: 2148
Dr. Romance writes:
Unless you're completely out of touch with any media, written, audio or video, you have been bombarded with words like "dysfunctional relationship", "codependency" and "toxic family system". You may have noticed that there's a lot of information available about these ... Views: 1377
Dr. Romance writes: In my counseling office, I see a lot of damaged relationships because people don’t know how to ask for what they want, or don’t think it’s OK. Whether it's your couple relationship, family connections, friends or work colleagues, not asking for what you want means you’ll ... Views: 1196
Dr. Romance writes:
Recently, as we were eating in an Italian restaurant, the music being played transported me back to holidays with my Italian/American family. Traditional, sentimental Italian songs were such a large part of our gatherings for the holidays. After a huge, slow, multi-course ... Views: 1371
Dr . Romance wishes you a Happy New Year, everyone! This is the time when a lot of energy is spent on making resolutions, most of which we don’t manage to keep. So, in the face of all the violence we have experienced this year, I would like to propose a different kind of resolution. Will ... Views: 1438
Dr. Romance writes:
Love, commitment and relationships seem to be in disfavor these days. I'm seeing a lot of articles and TV shows saying love doesn't last, so why bother. No matter what the media is saying, I believe that all of us want to be loved, and I know from experience that a ... Views: 919
As a single parent, you probably have so little free time that dating seems an impossible task. Yet, single parents are dating in unprecedented numbers, so if you’re looking for another “head of household” to date, you can find one.
As a responsible parent, you’ll want to be very cautious about ... Views: 1049
Dr. Romance writes:
The most frequent problem I hear from single clients is that of how and where to search for a partner. Other clients are searching for friends. Many of them have been searching for a long time, without success; others have been afraid to go out and search at all. Most ... Views: 1118
Dr. Romance writes:
Life is frequently not easy, and we often encounter problems and difficulties that require us to pay attention to our own feelings.
Relationships, whether with family, spouses and partners, friends or even colleagues, can create emotional fallout that we need to take care ... Views: 853
Dr. Romance writes:
Normally, I recommend getting face to face as soon as possible, because you get so many clues, including pheromones, that you don’t get over phone, texting, email or video. However, these are not normal times, and we’re sheltering in place, so face to face is out, unless you ... Views: 939
Last month, Dr. Romance received the following letter from a reader:
“A topic I would like you to cover/explore is that curious phenomenon which permits otherwise independent women to be dominated...even abused...by males with whom they share some sort or relationship. Why is it that a ... Views: 1658
Recently, Dr. Romance has been asked a lot about how people can overcome paralysis and self-sabotage, so I thought I’d pass on my ideas on the subject. Getting in your own way is all about how you relate your yourself. In addition to not managing your time effectively, ... Views: 1224
Dr. Romance has had many clients who are grieving, and wrote this to help.
None of us wants to think about it, but the standard definition of a totally successful relationship is the old, traditional "til death do us part." Any time we love, whether it’s a life partner, a dear ... Views: 1501
Dr. Romance has had many clients who are grieving, and wrote this to help.
None of us wants to think about it, but the standard definition of a totally successful relationship is the old, traditional "til death do us part." Any time we love, whether it’s a life partner, a dear ... Views: 1477
If you're lucky enough to be living with someone else while you're isolating to avoid this virus, you may be having some difficulty with being alone together for more time than you're used to. The following guidelines will help you get along better and perhaps even improve your ... Views: 820
Dr. Romance says: I can’t escape it, it’s in the news every day, and it fills my counseling office. Recently, the news told of a four-year-old who was shot to death by his own father, because the father was jealous of his divorced wife’s new relationship. "O, beware... of jealousy; ... Views: 1342
Dr. Romance says: I can’t escape it, it’s in the news every day, and it fills my counseling office. Recently, the news told of a four-year-old who was shot to death by his own father, because the father was jealous of his divorced wife’s new relationship. "O, beware... of jealousy; ... Views: 1135
After years together, is there a lack of sex in your marriage? Is this negatively impacting your relationship? Have no fear -- it is easy to reboot your sex life at any age. I recommend that couples follow five easy steps to get things going again: First of all, you have to find out what’s going ... Views: 817
Dr. Romance writes: You have probably entered relationships madly in love, convinced that your feelings for each other were so strong your dream would carry you through the tough times, but wound up feeling more like you were living in a nightmare than a dream, struggling with conflicting ... Views: 988
Infidelity can be devastating to a marriage. While couples can recover, it is far better to never have cheating in the first place. Here's how to "cheat-proof" your marriage, and head off problems before they begin.
Dr. Romance on how to keep your marriage safe from ... Views: 986
Dr. Romance writes:
Would you like to stretch time – to make the time you have go farther, and use it more for what you really want to do? Stretching time is not difficult if you have the prerequisites: self-awareness, a sense of purpose, thoughtful action, and a playful ... Views: 1652
Discovering your partner has been unfaithful is a shock. Your first instinct may be to run, but if you have a shared history, children and finances, you may wonder – should you stay or go?
Dr. Romance shows you how to decide.
When you get the devastating news that your spouse has had an ... Views: 1062
Dr. Romance on Learning Forgiveness
Dr. Romance writes: Learning to forgive those who hurt us is an essential life skill, because it helps develop inner maturity, frees us from emotional bondage to the other person, and helps us develop the ... Views: 1907
Dr. Romance writes: It seems logical that like would attract like, but in my private practice as a marriage counselor and psychotherapist, I often see people drawn to their opposite ‑‑ because it's new and exciting.
However, what’s exciting in the newness of romance often becomes unbearable ... Views: 789
Dr. Romance writes:
Knowing how to set appropriate boundaries can make the difference in whether your relationship succeeds or not. The topic frequently comes up in my counseling office, and most people think boundaries are set by telling other people what the limits are. But boundaries are ... Views: 1408
Dr. Romance writes: A lighthearted approach to serious matters often is the most productive one. Imagine what your days would be like if you focused on having fun and making yourself and your partner laugh. Fun is also good for your health: Telling your partner the cute thing your kid said (or ... Views: 1637
Kindness is the lubrication for life, love and relationships. When you spread kindness, it comes back in many ways, and it’s the foundation of happiness. "Dr. Romance" shows how kindness works and why it’s important to learn to live kindly, even in today’s cynical ... Views: 782
Dr Romance writes:
As life develops, many of us have an urge to focus on the deeper issues -- our dreams and goals, and our emotional and spiritual development. When this happens, life gradually becomes more about meaning and satisfaction and less about obligations and ... Views: 1550
"And then, not expecting it, you become middle-aged... You achieve a wonderful freedom. It is a positive thing." -- Doris Lessing
Maturity or middle age means different things to different people, writes Dr. Romance, but for most, reaching a mature age means developing a new set of ... Views: 1419
Dr. Romance writes:
A seeker goes to Nepal and climbs into the Himalayas to find a teacher, a guru he’s heard about. After months of searching and struggle, he finds the famous man, and asks his burning question: "What is the meaning of life?"
"The meaning of life is a ... Views: 1309
Dr Romance recommends couples increase their mutual respect and appreciation by having a regular "State of the Union" meeting. Here are two simple techniques you can use in all kinds of relationships: couples, families, even work partners and friends, to enhance your cooperation, ... Views: 1308
Dr. Romance writes: Do you sometimes feel locked in a struggle with yourself? I know I do. Why is it that we know what we want to do, but it’s such a struggle to actually get it done? Even Saint Paul writes, in a letter to the Romans, “I do not do the good I want, but the ... Views: 1501
Dr. Romance writes:
In my therapy practice, I witness a lot of confusion about the proper role of judgement in life and relationships. Often, when I ask clients to analyze whether a person they’re dating has good character, they tell me they don’t want to be judgmental. People in twelve step ... Views: 1238
Dr. Romance writes:
It's easy to get discouraged when we become aware of the suffering throughout the world: natural disasters; racial prejudice; addiction and self-destruction; political oppression in its many forms (starvation, war, torture, misinformation, imprisonment, denial of ... Views: 1109
Dr. Romance writes:
In my clinical experience, I've encountered many clients who are afraid to admit they're wrong. This comes from a culture of blaming and accusing -- where one's early family may have picked a "culprit" when something went wrong, and focused on blame, rather than ... Views: 1395
Dr. Romance writes: The average person pays more attention to what she's saying or thinking about than what she is hearing, or how her words are "landing" on the other person. This self-involvement gets worse during an argument. You can become a much more effective communicator by using what I ... Views: 1121
Dr. Romance writes:
What do you do after you have tried everything and your partner, friend, child or colleague still won't negotiate?
In previous articles, like “Asking for What you Want,” “Couples Can Cooperate for Success” and “Gentle Persistence” we’ve explored a lot of communication ... Views: 961
Dr. Romance writes:
The skills couples need to keep intimacy alive in a long-term relationship differ from new relationship intimacy skills, and they're not obvious because people don't talk about them. Most couples need to lower their expectations of romance and glamour and raise the ... Views: 799
Dr. Romance writes:
Politeness and sensitivity are not held in high esteem in the media these days. The nastiest politicians get the most air time. Many media spokespeople, stars and commentators, “gangsta” rappers, nasty radio talk show stars and “edgy” comedians; as well as personalities ... Views: 1755