How Can I Stop So-and-So From Being So Negative?

Honestly we can't make a person or ourselves do anything unless we want it. When we suggest helpful things to others, or even to ourselves, it is often heard as criticism. OMG, all that anxiety and worry about what I did that day or will do tomorrow, is rooted in self-criticism, negativity, and guilty shame? Yes. FYI - it causes sleep problems and adrenal disorders, too. Our innate criticalness is learned from childhood and school. And too much of our innate, unaware criticalness comes from our spoken delivery method. We rarely use words of kindness or a personal story method to suggest a change of behavior or a solution to others and ourselves. WE NEED INSPIRATION TO CHANGE.

We need inspiration so badly that we need to work on ourselves, first. How? It will depend on your personality and arsenal of experience, but start with noticing vocal negativity. Are your words kind? Do your comments sound critical or judging? Realistically sometimes they will. Smiling silence is better, or use a neutral comment, “How interesting.” Try an hour, a day or a week to use words of kindness, or at least, neutrality.

Please feel great about the few moments you spend giving kind words. The more kind words used, the less tension, less anxiety, and ultimately, with the consistent application, our personal life will be positive. It may take months or a year or so, but oh, the side effect from using words of kindness is a healing-- generally better adrenal strength, less sleep problems, and higher serotonin.