You Just Want them to be Happy – but they Already Are
With Best Selling Author, Jennifer Hough – Holistic Nutritionist & Get Out of Your Own Way Founder
Having parented in many different ways (children, stepchildren, grandchildren, pets etc.), believe me when I say that the lessons I have learned did not come easily – at least not at the time. When I remembered how “the Universe works”, from childhood, everything seemed to get much easier, far simpler and so much more joyful. I do hope this article contributes to your connection with your children.
Work with me now…what is the fundamental desire that all parents have for there children….I’ll give you a minute……ok…..it’s happiness. You might be thinking, “independence” or “self sustaining”, but only because you think they will be happier if those are the case….so it all comes down to happiness. Now I ask you the question: WHO IS MORE HAPPY, YOU OR A 3, 4, 5, 8 YEAR OLD? Unless you are a very wise person, the youngster is much happier than you…in fact much more capable of finding things to be joyful about as well. In my lectures on Quantum Physics and your health, I talk about the fact that when a child has his/her truck stolen, it takes about 30 seconds to recover from the trauma. If your truck gets stolen, there is so much emotion invested, it could be years before you get over your stolen truck.
Keep following me, now…..So all in all, your child is generally more easy going, and finds ways to be happy much more easily than you do, and you said that you want your child to be happy when they grow up. So the next logical thing is to teach them how to be happy, right? But wait, you said you weren’t doing so well at sustaining joy? So you are going to teach your child what you know now about life, and how to live based on the philosophy that was taught to you, that as far as you can see, works sub-optimally. Do you see the quandary? Consider that your child is carrying the key to your happiness, and not the other way around.
One more factor for you (just stay with me, here)…….because you may be committed to finding some valid reason why you suffer so, or as your child says “you get grumpy”. Some of you may be thinking “but my child has no responsibilities, no debt, they get fed, and clothed etc….of course they are happy”. Which is logical thinking, flawed, but logical. Consider this. Law of attraction – the fundamental law governing all of creation. Law of Attraction says that what you put your attention on expands in your experience, and that you can only allow that which you can believe would be true. The Universe at large, loves you. How do I know? You are living proof….the fact that you are living, literally, is because the life force the Universe provides is flowing through you. So if you are loved that much (that your body functions on levels that even the greatest scientist cannot explain), it would be kind of weird of something/someone that loving to leave you no way to create your life – no way to access miracles & be happy on an ongoing basis. Does it makes sense that you get plopped here on Earth…and you are on your own after that, once you get to adulthood, the party is over – for some, earlier. Consider that the “party”, or as I call it, ease, is only over because you stopped remembering that everything works for you…..because you are an extension of “all that is”.
The problem is that once you start believing that nothing works for you, or that life has to be hard…..the Universe loves you so much, that it will go out of its way to make you right. Interesting, isn’t it? You are actually putting attention on what is not wanted, and getting more of it. Once you decide that responsibility sucks, and you have too much of it….it will suck, and you will have too much of it. You will notice that a child is not exposed to those kinds of thoughts until much later. They do exactly what is intended by the Creator…..listen to what feels best in their heart and follow it. Around 20, adults start listening to their heads and not their hearts. Hear-in lies the problem. We fall into a culture where we forget that the entire world of metaphysics is at our disposal.
So what to do? Well, if you have children, watch them. They will not spend long in upset….because it costs them too much compared to where they usually live life – in joy. I suggest you start changing your life by playing more, appreciating those children for their wisdom, and focusing on what you do want, instead of what you don’t want. TRY IT. Spend the next week doing what feels best, instead of superimposing what didn’t work for you on your children.
Almost done. So what can parents teach our children, if it is not our bad habits of focusing on our fears, woes and lack? Well, if the key to all good things, is being in a place that feels good, it would be a blessing to your child if you could teach them to listen to their feelings and trust them. That requires that you look inside of yourself to follow your heart as well. Children follow what you do, not what you say. So if you truly want your child to be happy, be happy yourself….then they will learn how. By your example. More importantly, they will learn that you don’t have to be ‘grumpy” when you grow up.
On a final note. Why do teenagers get so darn frustrated with you? Because, they are still remembering childhood enough to know that they should follow their internal guidance, and the closer they get to adulthood, the more you want them to follow your internal guidance. They innately know that listening to someone else’s feelings is always going to lead to going off course. Except for serious accidents or death activities, it really would behoove us to allow our children to fall down a few times, so that they can trust the only thing that will guarantee what you always wanted – for them to be happy. You may not like everything they choose, but they will.
Create a magical day (because you can)
Jennifer
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Founder of The Vital You, Creator of the “Get Out of Your Own Way Course™”, Best Selling Co-Author in Wake Up and Live the Life You Love and A Search for Purpose and author of the School of Unlimited Life &The Ultimate Holistic Cookbook.
Jennifer Hough is a Life Coach, nutritionist, best selling co-author of 2 books and an international speaker for the past 11 years. She truly does ‘walk her talk’. She has transformed her own life from years of financial struggles, chronic migraines and fatigue to one of abundance and limitless vitality. Jennifer is an energizing 'human magnet' who has the largest Holistic Nutrition Coaching Practice in Canada. Her clients are those ready to transcend self-sabotage and create joy, ease and flow in life – most have struggled years, and worked hard at life, only to find the gift of “Getting Out of Your Own Way™” (the course Jennifer created). She masterfully leads her clients to transcend the underlying programs that keep them stuck, and teaches them tools so they can deliberately create their lives and health. Her gift is to intuit and interpret the most leading edge metaphysical information and make it practical and understandable for lasting, mind-blowing change in your life.
Jennifer is a pioneer in the field of Law of Attraction and health and mind/body medicine. She currently travels the world speaking with those ready to transform their lives, transcend their genetics, and live an unlimited life.
Today, Jennifer lives with her husband Garry and her dog Emerson. Jennifer is also the proud step-mother of Ashleigh and loving grandmother of Austin-Jack.