An exercise to improve public speaking nerves

To talk or perform in front of people is something most of us will do at some point in our lives and some of us do it far more often than that, usually in our work environments. What’s common to almost everyone is some form of nervousness or even excitement, whether that feeling might start just a minute or so before we are due to speak, or for others starting days or even weeks before.

One of the most common reasons that people who I see have difficulty with speaking or performing in front of others is through learning this behaviour from past experiences. This fight or flight response is our own internal safety mechanism to ensure we can deal with a potentially stressful situation very quickly, bypassing the logical rational mind that will take that much longer to figure out the right response. Helpful when we have to avoid a bus careering towards us, not so helpful when standing in front of a crowd of people.

So what can you do to help yourself detach from any negative emotions and thinking patterns that you might have inadvertently learnt?

Well it’s firstly helpful to recognise what triggers you to react? What I mean by this is that there will be something that triggers you to start thinking or worrying about giving a speech even if you are unaware of it. Does a picture come up in your mind, the day before, of standing in front of people, or is it the email that pops through your inbox reminding you of when you are due to give a talk, or maybe it’s when you actually see the stage or audience in front of you that unwanted thoughts or feelings creep in? It’s also useful to point out that, even if its only a fraction of a second sooner, it’s the unwanted emotions that you will have first, before any thoughts take shape. So interrupting and changing the emotions needs to happen first, before trying to change any thinking patterns.

The exercise

In total this will take about 30 minutes as there is quite a lot to take in here, so give yourself plenty of time. If the emotional reaction you have is really strong and it’s difficult to even think about giving a speech without having the unwanted feelings come rushing back then start here, otherwise go to the next paragraph. First of all think of a very specific place that is instantly relaxing for you; somewhere you have been on holiday perhaps or simply somewhere you can imagine where you know will feel relaxed. Now imagine you are there, and there is a chair for you to relax in, and really make a point of noticing as much detail as possible using all your senses. So focus on what you can see, hone in on any sounds you can hear, imagine you can reach out and touch the ground, feel the air on your face and most importantly focus on the wonderfully relaxing feeling inside. Now because this is in your imagination anything can happen, so pretend you have a TV and DVD player in front of you, with the remote control. Now imagine you can bring up a video of yourself, that is paused at just before the trigger point you identified above of a past or imagined situation. Now imagine the TV is moving further away from you, to a point where you can still see it and also change the image on the screen to black and white. Briefly remind yourself again of the wonderfully relaxing place you are in. Now imagine you can press the play button so you can watch the video of you having the unpleasant reaction and just observe how you are reacting and play the video until a point when everything had, relatively speaking, calmed back down. Then imagine you can press a rewind button watching that film of you rewind very quickly until the beginning, just before the trigger point. Do this a couple more times until it becomes easier to watch.

Now it’s important to figure out what type of good feelings you want to have when you are standing up giving the speech! Confident, focused, clear headed, energised and happy are some of the more common ones. Think about all the times when you have felt all of those things that you want to feel. See if you can come up with lots of different examples at different times in your life. Then pick the ones that you remember most vividly and that were also the ones that had the most impact at the time, perhaps two or three examples, then close your eyes and allow yourself to go back and re-experience them in your mind again. Switch between each scenario a few times, imagining you are back there, and really focus on making the feelings strong and powerful, focusing on where the feelings are inside your mind or body. Then start to spin the feelings inside you building up more momentum and power and trying to expand it so it spreads to other parts of your body, almost like you are glowing. You might find the feeling takes on a particular colour when you do this. Keep going from one scenario and feeling to another, giving yourself space in between to adjust to each different example you have picked. Once you have got the hang of this you want to bring your thumb and forefinger together on one of your hands, when the feeling is almost at the point where it is at its most powerful, and feel the pressure of your thumb and forefinger, whilst simultaneously focusing on the good feeling before, after 10-30 seconds letting them go when the feeling naturally subsides. Do this a couple of times, for each example, each time layering and building the feelings on top of each other. Bringing your thumb and forefinger together like this, whilst accessing those powerful feelings, is called an anchor.

Next, if you were to give a speech to just one person, someone who will make you happy, who will be supportive, who will accept you for who you are and for any mistakes you might make, who would this be? It can be someone you know well or someone you don’t or indeed someone famous that you have never met but think will be a great person to be all of those things I mentioned. Make sure you can create a vivid picture in your mind of them, how they would sit down or stand, intently listening to you. If you find this hard try and focus on just one aspect of them and get a sense of them and the feeling they give you.

Now sitting down in a chair, imagine where you will be standing when you make the speech (this could be a real speech coming up for you or otherwise a hypothetical speech) and then also be clear about where your chosen person will be, how far away from you they will be, what they look like, what they are wearing etc. Now imagine you are standing just behind the you who is in the middle of giving the speech and imagine you have the sensation of being pulled quickly up to your feet. Stay sitting and go through each feeling as before, firing off the anchor every time the feeling is almost at its peak, taking as much to really enjoy each feeling. Now bring in the sensation of being pulled to your feet, before quickly standing up and taking a step forward. With this step imagine you have walked straight into and merged with the you that is standing on stage, bringing all the positive feelings with you and spend 30 seconds or so looking at your chosen person and really focusing on the feelings. If they subside and you want to bring them back just fire off your anchors again. Only spend a minute maximum doing this before sitting down and doing it all again. Each time the feeling of being pulled to your feet can become stronger and your ability to access the feelings will be quicker, so that after a few times you will feel that pull to your feet, accompanied with the great feelings by using your anchor and then imagining you are standing there giving your speech, with your chosen person to focus on. This exercise can be very powerful at getting rid of pre speech nerves, especially if practised regularly.

To learn more about me and my work please see my website; www.lawrencemichaels.co.uk