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- 20 Do's & Don'ts Of A Functional Relationship - by Submitted on Jul 19, 2012 from Eve BernshawFrom TheTransitionProcessTM Interactive Lecture HOW TO ATTRACT EMOTIONALLY HEALTHY PEOPLE The following is a list of The 20 Do's and Don'ts of A Functional Relationship. It has been an effective tool and starting point for individuals and couples who are serious about creating more joy, ...
Views: 2284 - Dependent: Why Are Some People Dependent? - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhen people talk about what it means to be an adult, being independent is never too far away. Here, one will be empowered to live their own life and to support themselves. So whereas a child is dependent on their caregivers to survive, an adult is not dependent on anyone in particular. And so ...
Views: 2283 - My First Signs of Codependence - by Submitted on Mar 12, 2005 from Kay KopitThe pink slip read, “Kay, come to the principal’s office.” I was sixteen, a senior in high school and had never before been asked to see Mr. Ober. With the glass doors straight ahead, I was visibly shaking as I walked down the rambling corridor. When I entered the room three faces were ...
Views: 2256(1 vote) - Am I Manipulating My Narcissist? - by Submitted on Sep 22, 2015 from Sam VakninBy Sam Vaknin Author of "Malignant Self-love: Narcissism Revisited" All told, there are three ways to manipulate the narcissist: (1) To withhold narcissistic supply from him until he comes, hat in hand, begging for more and then you can name your price and dictate terms; (2) To ...
Views: 2253 - Receiving - by Submitted on May 05, 2012 from Mary Fitzpatrick"And did you get what you wanted from this life, even so? I did. And what did you want? To call myself beloved, to feel myself beloved on the earth" Raymong Carver Many of us were told as children, some of us relentlessly, about the primacy of giving. Yes, it is very important to give of ...
Views: 2237(1 vote) - Co-dependency: Half a Loaf of Self - by Submitted on Feb 17, 2009 from Dr. Jane BoltonThe term 'co-dependency' was initially used to describe a person who was dependent on another person who was an alcoholic, or addicted to another substance. Over time, it has been discovered that co-dependents have common characteristics that have nothing to do with substance ...
Views: 2230(1 vote) - Top 10: How to Use The 12 Steps for Management Conflict and Resolution - by Submitted on Dec 14, 2004 from Elizabeth TullOne of the reasons for the success of the 12 Step programs is that they are based on solid principles that can be applied to many areas of life, and that includes business. A successful company takes stock regularly and turns liabilities into assets. Here are some guidelines for applying ...
Views: 2220(1 vote) - THE POWER OF SELF-TALK - by Submitted on Nov 15, 2017 from Darlene LancerAre you aware that you talk to yourself all the time? We all do. Our self-talk makes a huge difference in our lives for better or for worse. The question to ask yourself is whether your inner voice is your friend or foe. Our unconscious is impacted by the words we say in the same way that it ...
Views: 2202(2 votes) - Codependency: Effect of Self-Esteem on Relationships - by Submitted on Feb 12, 2016 from Darlene LancerResearch has well-established the link between good self-esteem and relationship satisfaction. Self-esteem not only affects how we think about ourselves, but also how much love we’re able to receive and how we treat others, especially in intimate relationships. A person’s initial level of ...
Views: 2201(2 votes) - When What You Give is Squandered: Re-thinking identity as a giver when giving too much can hurt - by Submitted on Apr 17, 2010 from Fannie LeFloreIf you’ve been victimized often, chances are the positive qualities you possess were viewed as an opportunity to take advantage of you – often by someone who lacks caring and concern, consciousness or character, usually in combination. Being un-thoughtful and even callous in our stressed, ...
Views: 2198(1 vote) - What Makes Codependency Qualify As Christian Codependency? - by Submitted on Apr 09, 2012 from Karla DowningBefore we answer the question "What makes codependency qualify as Christian codependency?" we need to understand the history of the term. In the 1980s, codependency was originally used to describe the dysfunctional patterns of family members of chemically dependent people who were also called ...
Views: 2196 - What is Spiritual Growth? - by Submitted on Mar 08, 2011 from Caroline NettleSpiritual growth is a very personal journey. We are spiritual beings in a human body from our first breath to our last. Each time we breathe in, we accept life and all she has to offer us. With each out breath, we release all that we no longer need. As small children, we wonder at nature and ...
Views: 2195(3 votes) - Energy Therapy Healing: Does It Work On Relationships? - by Submitted on May 26, 2009 from Donna BurickRelationships are a part of life that never seem to go smoothly. Dealing with other people can be difficult, no matter how much you care about them. Energy therapy healing offers you a way to help you deal with relationships and even improve upon them. This type of therapy is often combined with ...
Views: 2184 - How To Know What Boundaries Are? - by Submitted on Sep 02, 2009 from Mara FisherMany books have been written on the subject of boundaries. Is it possible to be an I and still be a We? Where do I end and my partner begin? Many of us have been pondering this notion. How do I get close without getting lost while in a committed relationship? Many believe that the lack of ...
Views: 2184(5 votes) - It's time to have Inner Peace! Learning to say NO - by Submitted on Sep 11, 2011 from Marion LicchielloLearning to say NO! Being Authentic to Yourself Are you the type of person who always says yes? I’ve come to learn that it is very important to learn to say NO! It’s okay. People are still going to like you. They may even respect you more because they know you are being authentic. I’m not ...
Views: 2177(1 vote) - Navigating You & Me With Love & Compassion: Pet Peeves: Accept Or Reject? - by Submitted on Jul 16, 2012 from Ragini MichaelsEveryday Dilemma: Should I keep my own counsel and accept my partner’s unpleasant behaviors? Or, should I let him know that I reject them and want him to change? There’s something very odd about us humans. We invite others to be our intimate friends, lovers, and partners because we either ...
Views: 2157 - Dysthymia (Chronic Depression) and Codependency - by Submitted on Nov 10, 2015 from Darlene LancerDysthymia or chronic depression is a common symptom of codependency; however, many codependents aren’t aware that they’re depressed. Because the symptoms are mild, most people with chronic depression wait ten years before seeking treatment.Dysthymia doesn’t usually impair daily functioning, but ...
Views: 2154(1 vote) - Emotional Release Techniques For A Happy Life - by Submitted on Mar 15, 2014 from Dominica ApplegateAs human beings we all need to let go sometimes in order to experience a happy life. Keeping emotions locked up within ourselves is not healthy for us or for those close to us. This is why emotional release is a necessary thing. The problem is that many people have no idea how to perform this ...
Views: 2153(1 vote) - How to Raise Your Self-Esteem - What Is Codependency? - by Submitted on Nov 12, 2016 from Darlene LancerSelf-esteem is key to success in work, and enjoyment of life and relationships. It affects our thoughts, feelings, and behavior, and how we handle life's challenges. Low self-esteem underlies addiction, anxiety, depression, abuse, intimacy problems, and codependency. Our self-esteem is usually ...
Views: 2153(2 votes) - What Is Codependence and How Does It Affect My Life? - by Submitted on Jul 23, 2012 from Suzanne E. Harrill, M. Ed., LPCCodependence is a new word that became popular in the 1980's. It has become a buzzword and important for you to understand in becoming the person you want to be. In less aware times codependence was considered normal. To be good, perfect, compliant, agreeable, giving, and selfless was rewarded ...
Views: 2152 - 10 Reasons Why Boundaries Don’t Work - by Submitted on Sep 24, 2015 from Darlene LancerHas setting limits not worked? Despite your efforts, are your boundaries often ignored? It's frustrating, but it's not always the other person’s fault. Here's why and what to do. There are several reasons why boundaries don’t work. As I wrote in Codependency for Dummies and How to Speak Your ...
Views: 2151(2 votes) - "I am Terrified that S/he will Abandon Me! I will Do Anything to Avoid It!" - by Submitted on Oct 15, 2012 from Sam VakninClinging and smothering behaviours are the unsavoury consequences of a deep-set existential, almost mortal fear of abandonment and separation. For the codependent to maintain a long-term, healthy relationship, she must first confront her anxieties head on. This can be done via psychotherapy: the ...
Views: 2147(2 votes) - Bring Your Self to Your Relationship - by Submitted on Jan 14, 2014 from Emma ViglucciBring Your Self to Your Relationship It is a phenomenon when we feel energized, connected, and alive past the infatuation stage of our relationship. At the beginning, we fall in love. We feel euphoric, on top of the world, passionate, sexy, wanted, lustful, etc. This stage lasts and can be ...
Views: 2131(12 votes) - He’s Not All Bad and Other Dangerous Fallacies - by Submitted on Jul 12, 2015 from Kim SaeedIt’s hard to admit, but… You’ve been lying to yourself about your partner. There’s an ever-widening gap between the person you want him to be and the person he really is. You have an idea of what constitutes a healthy relationship, yet you forgive your partner when he commits serious ...
Views: 2120 - Codependency and Power - by Submitted on Jan 08, 2014 from Darlene LancerPower exists in all relationships. Having power means to have a sense of control, to have choices and the ability to influence our environment and others. It’s a natural and healthy instinct to exert our power to get our wants and needs met. When we feel empowered, we can manage our emotions, we ...
Views: 2119 - 5 Ways to Build Self-Esteem and Change Your Life - by Submitted on Jul 13, 2017 from Darlene LancerOur thoughts are powerful – for better or worse. Thoughts can set off chain reactions that build self-esteem or undermine it. Authority over our mind is the ultimate power. “Mind is everything. What you think you become,” said Buddha. Thoughts affect not only our mental health, relationships, ...
Views: 2111(3 votes) - Navigating You And Me With Love And Compassion: Two Sweeteners for Intimate Interaction - by Submitted on May 31, 2012 from Ragini MichaelsEveryday Dilemma: Do I honor my thirst to be alone for awhile, or do I follow the longing in my heart to be together with friends and family? For years I believed intimacy meant being together with my beloveds - all the time! Everyone I knew suffered greatly from my youthfully exuberant ...
Views: 2105 - What are "we" waiting for? - by Submitted on Sep 18, 2011 from Suzanne ToroMany of ''US" have been traversing through expansion, contraction, purging, refining and feel at times that we are jumping from cliffs or being pushed off them...This has been a period where we are being asked to realign with "self". Many of ''US'' are traversing through old stories, beliefs and ...
Views: 2104(1 vote) - Are you a CAVE Dweller? - by Submitted on Dec 21, 2012 from Debbi DickinsonThere was an extended period of time in my life where I was a CAVE dweller. We all know people that are. CAVE is an acronym for Citizens Against Virtually Everything. CAVE dwellers are the people that look at life as a glass that is half full and complain about it. They complain loudly about ...
Views: 2077(1 vote) - The Recovery Ground Rules for Love Addicts - by Submitted on Jun 28, 2011 from Jim Hall* The following are some very critical ground rules needed for love addicts in order to pave a healthy, successful path in love addiction recovery. 1) Understand the Dynamics of Love Addiction & Intricacies of Love Addicted Relationships A very important first step in recovery is to ...
Views: 2076(1 vote) - ***From Desperate Anger to Blooming Passion - by Submitted on May 02, 2014 from Emma ViglucciThe season of renewal is finally here and with it comes an invitation to awaken to life. Note the blue skies, the sun shining, birds chirping, flowers blooming. What an enchanting time to be alive. The possibilities are countless. As we are coming out of hibernation, it is time to look around ...
Views: 2073 - Not a Perfect Ten? Stop Beating Yourself Up Now! - by Submitted on Mar 08, 2011 from Beverley GlazerNot a perfect ten? Don’t beat yourself up. Being perfect is an impossible goal. Humans can never be perfect but there's nothing wrong with self improvement. We all have things that we would like to change about ourselves. However, in the quest for perfection we can get blindsided by our ...
Views: 2068(4 votes) - The Betrayal - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2011 from Dan L. HaysMy next several blog posts are all related to the same topic. They deal with something that happened to me in July of 1988. My Dad had died the previous Thanksgiving, and I was still in the grief process over that loss. As well, I was still involved with a 12 step program for people who had ...
Views: 2039(2 votes) - Breaking Up Is Hard to Do - by Submitted on Oct 20, 2012 from Amy TorresSaying the words, "I want to break up," whether with respect to a marital relationship or any other committed romantic relationship, is one of the hardest things a human being ever has to do. Making the conscious choice to end one of the strongest bonds we have ever made frightens us to our ...
Views: 2038(2 votes) - 6 Scriptural Misunderstandings of Christian Codependency - by Submitted on Apr 14, 2012 from Karla DowningThe following 6 Scriptural misunderstandings form the basis of Christian codependency. They show how inaccurate Scriptural understandings contribute to Christian codependency. The cure is an accurate understanding of what the Bible says about ourselves and how we are to value ourselves compared ...
Views: 2022 - Praise, Acknowledgement & More! - by Submitted on Jan 14, 2014 from Emma ViglucciOne of the love languages is Words of Affirmation (book referenced above). Words of affirmation come in many forms including praise, acknowledgement, credit, recognition, validation, compliments, and appreciation. Each of these are a gift in and of themselves. When you use these, you show your ...
Views: 2021(1 vote) - Have You Ever Asked, “Why Don’t Others Ever Appreciate What I Do For Them?” - by Submitted on May 29, 2011 from Randi FineMany of us do not understand the importance of having emotional “boundaries” in our interpersonal relationships. Many of us do not even understand what the term “boundaries” means in that context. And many of us do not even know whether the emotional boundaries in our life are healthy or not. ...
Views: 2020(1 vote) - Navigating You & Me With Love & Compassion: Our Dualistic Dance of Relating - by Submitted on May 31, 2012 from Ragini MichaelsThe Everyday Dilemma: Do I take care of myself now, or everyone and everything else first, including my career? Most of us truly wish to infuse our lives with love, compassion, and caring. And, you have probably been enticed by the common notion that bringing these words to life requires ...
Views: 2018 - How Saying NO, Having a Backbone, and Being Your Authentic Self Can Help You Become Successful? - by Submitted on Jan 25, 2018 from Dr. Anne BrownIs this decision going to be good for Me? To help Me be successful? How do I make the right choices? What are the effects and the outcomes. Ask yourself, Who am I really making these choices for? Backbone Power was written to help everyone from mothers, to college grads, to people that have ...
Views: 2006(1 vote) - Are You Codependent? - by Submitted on Oct 19, 2012 from Lisa EspichAre you in a relationship with an addict? Have your attempts at helping that person failed? Do you feel powerless? Codependency is a term used when one person develops unhealthy patterns due to the involvement with another person who has the disease of addiction. Some of the negative patterns ...
Views: 2002(1 vote) - Coping with a Break-Up and Rejection - by Submitted on Aug 13, 2013 from Darlene LancerRejection and break-ups are especially hard for codependents. They can trigger hidden grief and cause irrational guilt, anger, shame, and fear. Working through the following issues can help you let go and move on. Codependents often blame themselves or their partner. They have low ...
Views: 2002(2 votes) - Children of Insanity - by Submitted on Sep 30, 2009 from Paul HoodI have been looking at a book by Claudia Black, “My Dad Loves Me, My Dad Has A Disease” (A Child’s View: Living With Addiction, full of pictures and writing by children), and remembering the children of addiction, and the mentally ill. I have seen five-year-olds acting like little adults, ...
Views: 2000(3 votes) - ***Is Your Partner Your Life Partner? - by Submitted on May 09, 2014 from Emma ViglucciHonor your Self. What does that mean? In my book, it means getting in touch with our Core, True, Authentic Self, our Soul, and operating from it in all we do. This means being in connection with our Self, knowing our Self. Most of the time we are in a fog and cacophony of daily minutiae, ...
Views: 1999 - What is Toxic Shame? - by Submitted on Mar 12, 2015 from Darlene LancerWhen shame becomes toxic, it can ruin our lives. Everyone experiences shame at one time another. It’s an emotion with physical symptoms like any other that comes and goes, but when it's severe, it can be extremely painful. Strong feelings of shame stimulate the sympathetic nervous system, ...
Views: 1997 - Choose to Be Happy - by Submitted on Jan 14, 2014 from Emma ViglucciWhen we are in a vulnerable place, triggered, overextended, overwhelmed, stressed, hormonal, whatever, we function from a less than resourceful state and therefore can very easily fall prey to negative thinking, victimization, sabotaging, undermining, deprecating, blaming, abuse, neglect, and ...
Views: 1987 - Detachment for the Codependent is the Key to a Happiness! - by Submitted on Oct 25, 2014 from Mary DeYonThe idea of detachment mesmerized me when I heard about it in Al-Anon. To let go of the ones you love seemed unloving and uncaring and certainly not Christian. But it also seemed to be the NIRVANA you could reach even while living with an alcoholic. I detached from my alcoholic father by ...
Views: 1985 - Stop "Shoulding" All Over Yourself! - by Submitted on May 15, 2011 from Elizabeth CappellettiDid you ever notice that we often do or don't do things because we are worried about what others will think? It's kind of silly if you think about it, but I know so many of us are guilty of it! It takes a lot of work and self-awareness to really start to change that. So I am giving you the ...
Views: 1981(2 votes) - Break the Rules Preventing an Awesome Relationship - by Submitted on Jan 14, 2014 from Emma ViglucciBreak the Rules Preventing an Awesome Relationship Do you experience déjà vu, broken records and same old stories in your disagreements with your partner? Do you feel stuck and find yourself repeating patterns and fights without knowing how to break the impasse? You are not alone … This is an ...
Views: 1979(1 vote) - Do You Support Each Other? - by Submitted on Mar 28, 2014 from Emma ViglucciWe all have dreams, wishes and goals. There are things we want for ourselves, our partner, our family. Sometimes though we find that it is difficult, if not impossible, to make our wish a reality. We may want to start a new business, go back to school, learn a new trade, pick up a new hobby ...
Views: 1976 - Stay Afloat with Healthy Boundaries - by Submitted on Jul 31, 2012 from Grace KerinaWhen folks around you make waves with their alien communication styles, fervent demands, or weird displays of power, you need healthy boundary skills that pop to the surface like a life preserver. Your imagination can roar to the rescue and save the day. To keep a grip on the real you when ...
Views: 1975(1 vote)