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Articles from Oliver JR Cooper | Selfgrowth.com
- Working Through Emotional Pain Is A Lot Like Weeding A Garden - by Submitted on Aug 07, 2021 from Oliver JR CooperEarlier on, it occurred to me that when it comes to working through emotional wounds, it is very similar to weeding a garden. At this point, you might wonder how the former has got anything to do with the latter. Perhaps the reason why I was able to see this connection is that I have removed ...
Views: 316 - Child Abuse: Can Someone Unconsciously Recreate Their Early Years If They Were Abused And Neglected? - by Submitted on May 19, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone’s life is not very fulfilling and they were to take a step back and reflect, a number of things could enter their mind. So, they could see that their relationships are not very nurturing and that it is normal for them to be ignored, put down and treated badly. Due to this, they are ...
Views: 315 - Child Abuse: Is An Abusive Parents Inability To Acknowledge Their Abusive Behaviour A Sign Of How Damaged They Are? - by Submitted on May 10, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperAfter suffering for many, many years, someone may have come to see that they were mistreated during their formative years. Therefore, it is not that they were born this way and/or simply can’t get it together. No, it is that they were deprived of the love that they needed in order to grow and ...
Views: 315 - Critical Thinking: Do Some Conspiracy Theorists Carry A Lot Of Darkness? - by Submitted on Apr 15, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf on one side, there are those who believe just about everything the media says, on the other, there are those who believe very little of what this source says. As a result of this, when it comes to how the former see the world, it is going to be very different to how the latter see the ...
Views: 315 - Father Wounds: Can A Man Sabotage His Life If He Has The Need To Be Loyal To His Father? - by Submitted on May 17, 2021 from Oliver JR CooperIf a man is finding it hard to move forward in life, he might find it hard to believe that this could be due to what took place during his early years. As far as he is concerned, what took place at this stage of his life could be in the past and that’s the end of it. The reason why his life ...
Views: 315 - Mother Wounds: Can A Man Carry A Lot Of Hurt If He Had An Emotionally Unavailable Mother? - by Submitted on Feb 08, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperWhat can be normal is for a man to be out of touch with how he feels and to be in a collapsed physical state. Due to this, he can typically go through the motions in life, not feeling alive or as though his life has much meaning. But, if he has been this way for a very long time, he might not ...
Views: 315 - Mother Wounds: Can A Man Have A Negative Inner Model Of Women If He Had A Mother Who lacked Empathy? - by Submitted on Sep 24, 2024 from Oliver JR CooperIf a man were to think about the experiences that he has had with women over the years, he might soon experience a number of ‘negative’ feelings. This is because he may have been with a number of women who were not very loving. So, these women might not have typically been interested in his ...
Views: 315 - Mother Wounds: Can A Man Struggle To Be Loved By A Woman If His Mother Was Unable To Love Him? - by Submitted on Oct 20, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperRight now, a man could be in a relationship with a woman who is not really interested in him. Or, if he is not in a relationship with a woman like this, he could be dating or seeing a woman who is. Consequently, he is going to be into or really into her but she is not going to feel the same ...
Views: 315 - Mother-Enmeshed Men: Does A Mother-Enmeshed Man Have A Fear Of Overshadowing His Mother? - by Submitted on Sep 30, 2021 from Oliver JR CooperIf a man spends most of his life doing things for his mother and overlooking his own life as a result, he is unlikely to have much of a life himself. He will be an individual with his own life to lead but that will be as far as it will go. So, as opposed to being the leading character in his ...
Views: 315 - Self-Assertion: Can Child Abuse Cause Someone To See Self-Assertion As A Threat To Their Survival? - by Submitted on Mar 10, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperAt times, someone is going to need to stand their ground and not tolerate something. By doing this, they will be paying attention to their own needs and looking after their own well-being in the process. At other times, they will need to go after what it is that they desire. This will also ...
Views: 315 - Child Abuse: Why Would Someone Idealise Their Abusive Parent? - by Submitted on May 24, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperDuring someone’s early years, they might have had at least one parent who didn’t treat them very well. If they did, this parent would have often been very cruel and, as a result, this would have deeply wounded them. Still, it doesn’t mean that they will be able to acknowledge how cruel this ...
Views: 314 - Mother Wounds: Can A Man Feel Empty If He Had An Emotionally Unavailable Mother? - by Submitted on Mar 27, 2024 from Oliver JR CooperIf a man were to connect with how he feels, he could find that he feels as though he is missing something. It is then going to be as if there is a hole inside him that needs to be filled. And, if he were to go deeper into this inner emptiness, he could come into contact with a lot of pain. He ...
Views: 314 - Mother-Enmeshed Men: Can A Woman Act More Like A Mother-Enmeshed Mans Mother Than His Partner? - by Submitted on Jan 28, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperBefore long, a woman may find that she is with a man who has two women in his life; his mother and her. He won’t just have a normal relationship with his mother, though, as she will be his main focus. The woman, who should be his primary relationship, is then going to be like a woman that he ...
Views: 314 - Mother-Enmeshed Men: Does A Mother-Enmeshed Man Need To Redefine Himself? - by Submitted on Nov 22, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf a man has spent most if not all of his life focusing on and doing things for his mother, he is unlikely to have a very empowering view of himself. Even so, this doesn’t mean that he will be aware of this. But, if he has been this way for a very long time, why would he be aware of this? How ...
Views: 314 - Pedestalization: Can Developmental Trauma Cause Someone To Put Others On A Pedestal? - by Submitted on Sep 24, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone was able to step back and reflect on their life, what they may find is that they have the tendency to elevate others. As a result of this, seeing another person as more knowing, more powerful and more capable will be normal. They are then going to be at one level and the average ...
Views: 314 - Child Abuse: Would An Abusive Parent Fall Apart If They Acknowledged How Abusive They Were? - by Submitted on Oct 04, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperAfter suffering for many, many years, someone may come to see that they were mistreated during their early years. Through having this understanding, it will start to become clear why they are experiencing life in this way. Now, while having this understanding won’t mean that their life will ...
Views: 313 - Anger Problems: Can A Man Use Anger To Mask His Hurt? - by Submitted on Nov 20, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperWhat can be normal is for a man to feel angry and this could be something that the people in his life are only too aware of. The reason for this is that he could often come across as intense and rude. It might go further, though, as there could be moments when he is violent and destroys ...
Views: 313 - Child Abuse: Can Someone Embody Their Parents Toxic shame If They Were Abused As A Child? - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperWhat someone may find, if they were able to detach from how they experience life, is that they have the tendency to feel low. This can mean that they will often feel depressed and they may even have moments when they think about ending their life. They may find that this is how they have been ...
Views: 313 - Disconnected: Can Developmental Trauma Cause Someone To Disconnect From Their True Self? - by Submitted on Jul 30, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperWhen someone is born, they are going to be an embodied human being. That is, of course, unless their time in their mother’s womb and their birth was not traumatic. By receiving the right attunement and care throughout this time, their connection to themselves will be supported and ...
Views: 313 - Disconnected: Can Developmental Trauma Cause Someone To Feel Disconnected? - by Submitted on Mar 04, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIt has been said that someone’s ego allows them to have their own experience on this earth, among other things. Therefore, this part of them causes them to see themselves as separate from everyone and everything. So, while this will allow them to have their own experience, which can be seen ...
Views: 313 - Happiness: Can Someone Feel Guilty For Being Happy If They Grew Up With A Depressed Parent? - by Submitted on Jul 28, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone feels happy, they could soon feel uncomfortable and their inner state could change thereafter. This could be something that is the rule as opposed to the exception. But, if this is something that is normal, it might not be something that stands out. As a result of this, they are ...
Views: 313 - Invisible: Can Someone Feel Invisible If They Experienced Developmental Trauma? - by Submitted on Feb 05, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone finds it hard to be seen and they were to share this, another person might find it hard to understand. They could say that they can see them, so there is no way that this could be an issue for them. However, being physically seen is unlikely to be the real issue; what they will ...
Views: 313 - Mother Wounds: Can A Man Fear Women If His Mother Was Abusive? - by Submitted on Apr 03, 2024 from Oliver JR CooperEven if a man fears women, it doesn’t mean that he will be consciously aware of this. If so, being this way will have a big impact on his life but he won’t realise what is going on. But, while he won’t be aware of this, a friend or family member, for instance, could be aware of this. It might ...
Views: 313 - Passive: Can Developmental Trauma Cause Someone To Be Passive? - by Submitted on Feb 24, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperWhile there is a time to be and a time to do, someone could be in a position where they find it hard to get things done. It could take a lot for them to get moving and when they do move, it could typically be because they have to. For example, if they didn’t have to go to work, they could ...
Views: 313 - Critical Thinking: Is It Time For Humanity To Realise That They Have An Unconscious Mind? - by Submitted on Nov 26, 2021 from Oliver JR CooperIf the average person was asked to explain what it means to be human, they could say that it involves having a physical body and an intellect or something similar. Therefore, who they are will be a combination of what is going on in their head and what keeps this part of them in place. By ...
Views: 312 - Critical Thinking: Is The Coronavirus Being Used To Divide People? - by Submitted on Dec 11, 2021 from Oliver JR CooperBefore the contagion came onto the scene, it wouldn’t be right to say that, as a whole, there was harmony on earth. There were numerous things that a number of people were fighting over. For example, there was the battle between some men and women and between those who belong to one religion ...
Views: 312 - Early Deprivation: Can Early Deprivation Cause A Man To Be Addicted To Porn? - by Submitted on Jul 16, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperAt this point in time, a man could be in a position where practically his whole life revolves around viewing porn. Therefore, if he is not working or spending time with friends, for instance, he could be viewing it. Then again, there could be moments when he views it when he is at work. If ...
Views: 312 - Father Wounds: Can A Man Unconsciously Look For A Father Figure If His Father Was Unavailable? - by Submitted on Feb 20, 2024 from Oliver JR CooperEven though a man’s childhood will be behind him, it doesn’t mean that he has fully moved on from this stage of his life. A big part of him can be anchored to this stage of his life. The reason for this is that this might have been a time when he missed out on what he needed from his father ...
Views: 312 - Mother-Enmeshed Men: Can A Mother-Enmeshed Man Experience Extreme Inner Conflict? - by Submitted on Jan 13, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperFor as long as a man can remember, he might have had the need to be there for his mother. He may find that this is generally something that he doesn’t have to think about doing as being there for her is something that just happens. But, as time has passed, he might have started to experience ...
Views: 312 - Mother-Enmeshed Men: Did A Mother-Enmeshed Man’s Father Abandon Himself? - by Submitted on May 02, 2024 from Oliver JR CooperAt first, a man who is entangled with his mother might have focused on the impact that she is having and had on him. The reason for this is that it would have been clear that she is having and did have a big effect on him. But, as time has passed, it might have become clear that there is the ...
Views: 312 - Mother-Enmeshed Men: Is A Woman Powerless If She Continually Ends Up With Mother-Enmeshed Men? - by Submitted on Jun 11, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperAfter being with a number of men who were overly focused on their mothers, a woman could question if she will ever meet a man who is actually available. To say that she will feel pretty hopeless when it comes to this area of her life could be an understatement. But, as she has gone through ...
Views: 311 - Relationships: Can Relationships Take On A Symbolic Meaning If Someone Experienced Early Deprivation? - by Submitted on Sep 30, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone was to look back on the relationships that they have been in, they could experience a fair amount of anger and frustration. As opposed to this being a time when they will feel good, then, it will be a time when they feel bad. Then again, they might be able to remember some good ...
Views: 311 - Self-Rejection: Can Early Deprivation Cause Someone To Reject Themselves? - by Submitted on May 28, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperWhat can be normal is for someone to be there for others and to ignore a number of their own needs and feelings. But, although they will have abandoned themselves, it doesn’t mean that this will stand out. However, even if what is going on doesn’t stand out, living in this way is still going ...
Views: 311 - True Self: Can Someone Associate Self-Expression With Being Isolated If They Experienced Early Deprivation? - by Submitted on Dec 14, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperEven though someone is an individual, it doesn’t mean that they will act like one. In general, they could act as though they are nothing more than an extension of others. As a result of this, it will be normal for them to please others and to ignore their own needs. But, if this is just what ...
Views: 311 - Early Deprivation: Can Early Deprivation Cause Someone To Have A Dysfunctional Relationship With Their Sexual Side? - by Submitted on Dec 28, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to someone’s sexual side, it can be like another food that they have as part of a meal or it can be something that they have late at night. In other words, it can be something that is just part of a relationship that they are in or it can be something that they engage in with ...
Views: 310 - Mother Wounds: Can A Man Fear Women If He Had A Cruel Mother? - by Submitted on Oct 14, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperMost if not all of the experiences that a man had during his formative years might have been forgotten about by his conscious mind. Therefore, most of what took place during this stage of his life could be a mystery. Nevertheless, while this might be the case, it doesn’t mean that what took ...
Views: 310 - Mother-Enmeshed Men: Can A Mother-Enmeshed Man Feel Like His Partners Possession? - by Submitted on Feb 19, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperDuring the beginning of a relationship, a man can look forward to spending time with his partner. So, when he is not with her, he can spend a fair amount of time thinking about her and the moments that they have shared and will share in the future. This will be a time when he experiences ...
Views: 310 - Mother-Enmeshed Men: Is A Mother-Enmeshed Man An Empty Shell? - by Submitted on Feb 19, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperIf a man’s life revolves around his mother, what will stand out is that he is going to act more like an extension of her than a separate being that has his own needs and life to lead. At this point, it could be said that he just needs to implement boundaries with her and live his own ...
Views: 310 - Mother-Enmeshed Men: Is A Mother-Enmeshed Man Engaging In A Struggle For Love? - by Submitted on Mar 12, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperIf a man is in a position where he is seldom there for himself and spends a lot of time doing things for his mother, he is going to be depriving himself of what he needs. Based on how he behaves, it will be as though he doesn’t have many needs. However, although this is something that may ...
Views: 310 - Self-Alienation: Can Someone Be A Stranger To Themselves If They Experienced Early Deprivation? - by Submitted on Oct 19, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperFor someone to live a fulfilling life, they will need to be connected to their body and be in touch with their needs and feelings. The reason for this is that by being connected to themselves, they will be able to take life in, and this connection will provide them with the guidance that they ...
Views: 310 - Child Abuse: Would An Abusive Parent Fall Apart If They Acknowledged How Abusive They Were? - by Submitted on Oct 04, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperAfter suffering for many, many years, someone may come to see that they were mistreated during their early years. Through having this understanding, it will start to become clear why they are experiencing life in this way. Now, while having this understanding won’t mean that their life will ...
Views: 309 - Early Deprivation: Can Early Deprivation Cause Someone To Look For Unconditional Love In A Conditional World? - by Submitted on Apr 17, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperIdeally, someone will have received the love that they needed during their formative years in order to experience an emotional birth. In other words, they will have been able to form a strong sense of self and develop a felt sense of enoughness, worthiness and being lovable. Thanks to this, ...
Views: 309 - False Self: What Can Happen If Someone Was Brought Up To Be An Extension Of Their Parent? - by Submitted on Sep 22, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperEven though someone is a separate human being, who has their own needs and feelings and life to lead, it doesn’t mean that they will act like one. What can be normal is for them to focus on others and to do what they can to please them. As a result of this, they will typically act as though ...
Views: 309 - Father Wounds: Did A Man’s Abusive Father Have A Fear Of Being Abandoned? - by Submitted on Aug 14, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperDuring a man’s developmental years, he may have not only had a mother who was abusive, but his father may have also been abusive. In this case, both of his parents would have played a part in undermining him. A stage of his life, then, when he needed his mother's and father's love would have ...
Views: 309 - Mother Wounds: Can A Man Have A Strong Need To Be Seen By Women If He Experienced Early Deprivation? - by Submitted on Nov 15, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperA man could put a lot of effort into his appearance, with this being a way for him to receive a woman’s attention. This can mean that he spends a lot of time exercising, a lot of his money on clothes and is often at bars and clubs. When he receives attention from a woman who he finds ...
Views: 309 - Father Wounds: Can Man Have The Need To Be Rescued If His Father Was Emotionally Unavailable? - by Submitted on Feb 14, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperAlthough a man will be an adult, it doesn’t mean that he will typically feel strong and capable. Instead, he could typically feel weak and incapable, which is likely to mean that his life will often be too much for him to handle. In general, it could be as though his circumstances are ...
Views: 308 - Mother Wounds: What Can Happen If A Man Was Treated Like An Object By His Mother? - by Submitted on Nov 10, 2021 from Oliver JR CooperAt the beginning of a man’s life, so his formative years, he may have been treated more like an object than a being that had his own needs, feelings and rights and had inherent value. Once, he was born then, his mother and perhaps father may have created the impression that they were happy but, ...
Views: 308 - Mother-Enmeshed Men: Is It A Good Idea For A Mother-Enmeshed Man To Stay Single? - by Submitted on Sep 08, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperIf a man is in a position where he was in a relationship and this relationship largely came to an end because he was too focused on his mother, he could now be looking into what he can do to change his life. This relationship may have finished a few weeks ago or might have ended a number of ...
Views: 308 - Mother-Enmeshed Men: Why Would A Mother-Enmeshed Man Feel Selfish For Putting Himself First? - by Submitted on Mar 17, 2024 from Oliver JR CooperWhat should be normal is for a man to be there for himself and take care of his own needs. By being this way, he will be able to live a life that is worth living. However, while putting himself first should be normal, this could be something that rarely takes place. Instead, he can typically ...
Views: 308 - Mother-Enmeshed Men: Why Wouldn’t A Mother-Enmeshed Man Be Able To Face Reality? - by Submitted on Sep 21, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperWhat can be hard for someone to comprehend is why a man wouldn’t be able to see that he is focused on his mother and is neglecting himself. Now, the impact that his behaviour has on them is likely to depend on the type of relationship that they have with him. Naturally, if this relates to a ...
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