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Articles from Oliver JR Cooper | Selfgrowth.com
- Secondary Gain: What Is Secondary Gain? - by Submitted on May 22, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperIn the world of psychology and personal development, there is a term that is often used called secondary gain. This is a gain that is often hidden and unknown at a conscious level. And although the word ‘gain’ is typically used in a positive manner, in this instance, it is not a positive ...
Views: 2367 - Self Abuse: What Is Self Abuse? - by Submitted on May 01, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperAbuse is usually something that starts of as external in nature. This means that one is abused through the people around them and this could be limited to one environment or it could happen in a number of environments. The type of abuse that I am talking about here is the abuse that goes in ...
Views: 2454 - Self Awareness: Can Embracing Our Pain Lead To Greater Self Awareness? - by Submitted on Aug 20, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhen someone has no awareness of themselves it is going to lead to problems in their life. They could end up constantly blaming other people for what is or what is not happening to them and be oblivious to the part that they are playing. Pointing the finger towards other people may lead to ...
Views: 1449 - Self Awareness: How Can Someone Develop Self Awareness? - by Submitted on Mar 18, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhile it can be relatively easy to notice how another person behaves and how this affects their life, the same cant always be said about how one behaves and how this affects their life. And a big part of this comes down to how the modern day world is; with people generally being taught to ...
Views: 1787 - Self Control: Can Trapped Emotions Stop Someone From Having Self Control? - by Submitted on Nov 11, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperControl is something that everyone not only wants, but needs to a certain degree. To have no control would make life a real challenge and could make one question their will to live. This doesn’t mean that the control in question here is the control of others. The type of control this relates ...
Views: 1623 - Self Development: Can Self Development Condition People To Believe That It's 'All In The Mind'? - by Submitted on Nov 08, 2015 from Oliver JR CooperNowadays, it is not uncommon for people to read books on self development, and while they can be looking for ways to change what is taking place within them; they might be looking for ways to become more successful. There is also the chance that they are looking to improve a number of areas of ...
Views: 1272 - Self Development: Can Self Development Make Someone Dependent On Other People's Advice? - by Submitted on Jul 25, 2015 from Oliver JR CooperIf one has a question about an inner or an outer challenge, there is a strong chance that they will soon be able to find an answer. This is something that can take place without them having to move too far, and this is because they only need to go online. Through using the internet on their ...
Views: 1337 - Self Development: Can Toxic Shame Cause People To Be Obsessed With Self Development? - by Submitted on Sep 19, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperIt could be said that we live in the age of self improvement and this is not limited to one area of life. In America for instance, the self help industry takes in billions of dollars every year. So there is the chance for one to ‘improve’ their mind, body, physical appearance, relationships and ...
Views: 1851 - Self Development: Do Some People's Childhoods Set Them Up To Be Into Self Development? - by Submitted on Jun 16, 2015 from Oliver JR CooperOn one side of the spectrum, there are people who had a childhood where most of their needs were met, and on the other side, there are others who had a childhood where the majority of their needs were ignored. And in the middle of these two extremes will be people who would have had moments ...
Views: 1461 - Self Doubt: Is Self Doubt A Good Thing? - by Submitted on Nov 30, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to someone having an inner voice that is not supportive or nurturing for instance, there is going to be the need for some kind of change to take place. And if one feels practically paralyzed by this voice, then it is only natural that some kind of solution is going to be ...
Views: 1936 - Self Harm: Can Toxic Shame Lead To Self Harm? - by Submitted on Sep 23, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperIt is not uncommon to hear how important it is to be kind to others and while this is important, it is also important for people to be kind to themselves. In fact, if one is kind to themselves, they‘re more likely to be kind to other people. The reason there is a greater focus on how someone ...
Views: 2333 - Self Harm: Can Trapped Emotions Cause Self Harm? - by Submitted on Nov 04, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperThere could be said to be two ways that one can be harmed in this world. One of these is through external means and what other people do to them. And the other is what one does to themselves. What goes on externally can be noticed and as it is observable to others, they can come to ones ...
Views: 1806 - Self Image: Do Your Feelings Define Your Self Image? - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to how someone sees themselves, the term ‘self image’ is often used. And the image that one has of themselves doesn’t have to reflect reality in any way; this is because there are no limits when it comes to how one can see themselves, but this doesn’t mean that one’s self image is ...
Views: 1511 - Self Image: Is Our Self Image Secondhand? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperFor many years I have been focusing on and asking myself about my own identity. Is the way we see ourselves the true expression of who we really are or is it the result of something else. And will we be comfortable with the same Identity our whole lives. Most of us have heard how the way we ...
Views: 2185 - Self Image: Who Defines Our Self Image? - by Submitted on May 16, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhile no two people on the planet will view themselves in the same way, there are going to be people who have a self image that empowers them and there will also be people who have a self image that doesn’t empower them. And ones self image is something that can change as time goes by and is ...
Views: 1538 - Self Love: Why Is It So Hard To Accept Ourselves? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperI would firstly like to point out that the love I am talking about here is not narcissistic or egotistic. What I am referring to is an acceptance of who we are; our true nature, free from the ideas and perceptions of who we are or should be. This is of course one of the hardest things in ...
Views: 4485 - Self Neglect: Do Some People's Childhoods Set Them Up To Neglect Themselves? - by Submitted on Sep 04, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhile one may find it easy to take care of other people’s needs, they might find it hard to take care of their own needs. Putting other people’s needs first and being ‘selfless’ is often glorified; whereas if one puts their needs first, they can end up being portrayed as ‘selfish’. But to ...
Views: 2637 - Self Realisation: Running And The Journey - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperIt occurred to me how running is a great metaphor when it comes to the journey of removing the images and projections we have of reality and seeing reality for what it truly is. Something that can also seem to be, two steps forward and one step back at times. When we first start running it ...
Views: 2074 - Self Realisation: Why Do Some People Always Look Outside For Answers? - by Submitted on Jul 14, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperWe live in a time that is often described as the information age. And this is largely due to the internet and how this has made information so easy to access. What was only available to a certain class of people or what could only be known trough travelling to certain parts of the world for ...
Views: 2483 - Self Sabotage: Can Early Deprivation Cause Someone To Sabotage Their Life? - by Submitted on Oct 16, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperWhat someone may find, if they were to step back and reflect on their life, is that at least one area of their life is not going as they would like it to go. This could be an area of their life that they have tried to change for a very long time. But, no matter what they have done, they might ...
Views: 387 - Self Sabotage: What Is Self Sabotage? - by Submitted on Mar 19, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperThere is something that is known as self sabotage and what this actually means may not be clear to many people. So let’s look at what the word sabotage means first. On the dictionary.com website sabotage is described as: any underhand interference with production, work, etc., in a plant, ...
Views: 2256 - Self Talk: How Do You Talk To Yourself? - by Submitted on Oct 29, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperWhile we talk to other people in the external world, we are also talking to ourselves in what could be described as the internal world. And this is a dialogue that takes place from the moment one wakes up and until they go to sleep at night. But in many ways it doesn’t stop there, as one can ...
Views: 1658 - Self Understanding: Can Suffering Lead To Self Understanding? - by Submitted on Aug 27, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhile it is relatively easy to notice what is taking place in the outside world, the same can’t be said when to comes to what is taking place within ones inner world. From the moment one is born, they’re going to pick up information about the world and this is likely to continue until the day ...
Views: 1479 - Self Worth: Can Child Abuse Cause Someone To Feel Totally Worthless? - by Submitted on Jan 27, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperAlthough someone can lack a felt sense of worth, it doesn’t mean that they will be consciously aware of this. Even so, they may be aware of the impact of not having this in place. The reason they may be aware as opposed to will be aware of this is because how they experience life could just ...
Views: 392 - Self Worth: Do You Alternate Between Feeling Really Good And Really Bad? - by Submitted on Sep 15, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhile the ideal might be for one to experience a balanced sense of self worth, this is not always what takes place. Instead, one might experience life in such a way that they feel up one moment and down the next. This is not to say that one won’t have moments where they don’t feel up or ...
Views: 1571 - Self Worth: Do You Let Your Experiences Define Your Self Worth? - by Submitted on Jul 11, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperThere are going to be times in one’s life where their external reality mirrors back to them exactly what they want to experience and then there are going to be times when this doesn’t happen. And these experiences can end up defining not only how one feels, but also what they believe about ...
Views: 1725 - Self Worth: What Is Self Worth? - by Submitted on Apr 12, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperThere are many different terms that one can use to describe having value and worth. These can be self esteem, self confidence and self belief for example. And self worth is a phrase that I believe encompasses all of these aspects. Self worth is something that is inherent and based on what is ...
Views: 2398 - Self Worth: Who Defines Our Self Worth? - by Submitted on Mar 04, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperAlthough human beings are made of the same things and will all pass on at some point in their lives, it doesn’t mean that they all have the same level of value. And while there is inevitably going to be differences between someone who lives in a third world country and someone who lives in a ...
Views: 1568 - Self Worth: Why Do Some Men Feel Worthless? - by Submitted on Oct 09, 2013 from Oliver JR CooperTo have a balanced sense of worth is healthy and conducive to someone realising that they deserve to receive and to achieve in life. The problem is that not everyone has this experience and this can cause them to believe that they are worthless and therefore deserve very little, if anything, ...
Views: 7353 - Self Worth: Why Do Some Men Let Women Define Their Self Worth? - by Submitted on Mar 09, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhen someone looks towards other people to define how valuable they are, they are going to be dependent on their approval and acceptance. And the other hand, if one was to define their value and not look towards others, the need to receive the acceptance and approval of others is not going to be ...
Views: 2779 - Self Worth: Why Do Some People Always Try To Impress Others? - by Submitted on May 11, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperAs human beings, it is normal to want to look good, to give things, and to experience success for example. And yet, it is also possible for one to engage in each of these things just to impress others. To do this from time to time could be described as normal, but if one was to do this as a ...
Views: 28356 - Self Worth: Why Do Some People Only Feel worthy When They Are Pleasing Others? - by Submitted on Apr 14, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhile some people feel accepted for who they are, there are other people who only feel accepted when they are pleasing other people. This could be something they are consciously aware of, or it could be something they are completely oblivious to. But there are going to be clear distinctions ...
Views: 1784 - Self Worth: Why Do Some People Only Feel Worthy When They Are Successful? - by Submitted on May 07, 2014 from Oliver JR CooperWhile some people can feel worthy as a result of they are, other people can only feel worthy as a result of what they do. In the first case, ones worth has been internalised, and in the other, their worth is based on external factors. So the first person can just be and feel valuable without ...
Views: 1582 - Self-Abandonment: Can Someone Abandon Themselves If They Experienced Early Deprivation? - by Submitted on Dec 03, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone was able to step back and reflect on their life, what they might soon realise is that they are rarely there for themselves. In other words, they are going to be like someone who owns a dog but who typically leaves the dog outside and forgets to feed it. As a result of this, they ...
Views: 408 - Self-Abandonment: Can Someone Abandon Themselves If They Were Neglected During Their Early Years? - by Submitted on Jan 29, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone made a number of New Year’s resolutions, it doesn’t mean that they will have followed through with any of them. They could think about some if not all of the things that they planned to do every now and then but that could be about as far as it will go. Yet, even if they don’t have ...
Views: 329 - Self-Absorbed: Can Someone Suffer If They Only Focus On Themselves? - by Submitted on Jul 10, 2019 from Oliver JR CooperOne thing that social media has done is made it easy for someone to focus on themselves. So regardless of if it relates to how their pictures look, how people respond to what they share or how many friends they have, it is all going to be about them. In the past someone would have only have ...
Views: 647 - Self-Acceptance: Can Someone’s Childhood Stop Them From Being Able To Accept Themselves? - by Submitted on Jun 29, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperWhat someone may find, if they were to step back and reflect on their life, is that they have the inclination to hide themselves. As a result of this, how they generally come across won’t reflect who they truly are. This will mean that a number of their needs and feelings will rarely ...
Views: 384 - Self-Activation: Can Childhood Trauma Stop Someone From Being Able To Activate Themselves? - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2021 from Oliver JR CooperIf someone was to hear the term “self-activation”, they could wonder what it actually means. One way to understand this would be for them to imagine that they have a vacuum cleaner that can either be pushed around a room or it can go around a room by itself. When it is being pushed around a ...
Views: 558 - Self-Activation: Can Early Deprivation Stop Someone From Being Able To Activate Themselves? - by Submitted on Dec 30, 2024 from Oliver JR CooperEven though someone is an individual with their own needs and, thus, life to lead, it doesn’t mean that they will typically act like one. Instead, they can have the tendency to act as though they are an extension of others. Thanks to this, it will be normal for them to go along with what ...
Views: 193 - Self-Alienation: Can Someone Be A Stranger To Themselves If They Experienced Early Deprivation? - by Submitted on Oct 19, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperFor someone to live a fulfilling life, they will need to be connected to their body and be in touch with their needs and feelings. The reason for this is that by being connected to themselves, they will be able to take life in, and this connection will provide them with the guidance that they ...
Views: 321 - Self-Assertion: Can Child Abuse Cause Someone To Lose Touch With Their Need To Assert Themselves? - by Submitted on Apr 25, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperAs someone is an individual, with their own needs and feelings, it will be essential for them to be able to assert themselves. This will allow them to make it clear when something is not right for them and thus, protect themselves and their well-being and do the things that are right for ...
Views: 300 - Self-Assertion: Can Child Abuse Cause Someone To See Self-Assertion As A Threat To Their Survival? - by Submitted on Mar 10, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperAt times, someone is going to need to stand their ground and not tolerate something. By doing this, they will be paying attention to their own needs and looking after their own well-being in the process. At other times, they will need to go after what it is that they desire. This will also ...
Views: 325 - Self-Assertion: Can Child Abuse Stop Someone From Being Able To Assert Themselves? - by Submitted on Jan 18, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperAs one is an individual that has their own needs and feelings, there will be moments when they don’t want to do what another person wants them to do or agree with what they say. During such moments, it will be in their best interest to do something else or express a different viewpoint. If ...
Views: 315 - Self-Assertion: Can Childhood Trauma Stop Someone From Being Able To Assert Themselves? - by Submitted on Aug 19, 2020 from Oliver JR CooperWhat someone may find, that’s if they were to take a step back and to reflect on their life, is that they find it hard to assert themselves. This won’t just relate to standing their ground and saying no, though; the usual things that are associated with this expression. No, it will relate to ...
Views: 555 - Self-Assertion: Can Developmental Trauma Stop Someone From Being Able To Assert Themselves? - by Submitted on Oct 28, 2022 from Oliver JR CooperWhen someone can assert themselves, they will have no trouble standing their ground and saying no. Along with this, if they want to do something, it won’t typically be a challenge for them to do it. Having this ability will allow them to both protect and express themselves. Thanks to this, ...
Views: 363 - Self-Assertion: Can Someone Fear Being Assertive If They Were Neglected During Their Early Years? - by Submitted on Jun 05, 2023 from Oliver JR CooperAs someone is an individual with their own needs and feelings, they are not always going to want to do what another person wants them to do or suggests. If, on the other hand, they were merely an extension of others, this wouldn’t be the case. Another person could want them to do something or ...
Views: 326 - Self-Awareness: Can Someone Be Very Self-Aware And Out Of Touch With Their Emotional Wounds? - by Submitted on Dec 12, 2021 from Oliver JR CooperWhen it comes to experiencing change, it is often said that self-awareness is essential. The reason for this is that if one is not aware of what is going on for them, how will they be able to change their life? Through being aware of what is taking place both internally and externally, they ...
Views: 298 - Self-Awareness: Can Toxic Shame Stop Someone From Having Self-Awareness? - by Submitted on Aug 18, 2015 from Oliver JR CooperTo be human means that one not only has the ability to think and to feel, they also have the ability observe their own thoughts and feelings. Therefore, it is possible for them to experience life on one hand and to observe life on the other. When it comes to observing one’s outer experience, ...
Views: 1468 - Self-Awareness: Does Someone’s Ego-Mind Make It Almost Impossible For Them To Face Their Inner Wounds? - by Submitted on Nov 10, 2020 from Oliver JR CooperIn the same way that a mirror will reflect back what is taking place on the outside of someone’s being, their outer world will mirror back what is taking place on the inside of their being. However, although the former is something that is self-evident, the same can’t be said for the ...
Views: 640 - Self-Awareness: Does the Ego-Mind Make It Hard For Someone To Face Their Inner Wounds? - by Submitted on Jul 15, 2020 from Oliver JR CooperThere are a number of things that are part of the human experience, and having inner wounds is one of them. It doesn’t matter how good someone’s early years were or how good their adult years have been, they will have baggage. Nonetheless, although having inner wounds is part of the human ...
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