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Articles from Karla Downing | Selfgrowth.com
- Four Common Misconceptions About Forgiveness - by Submitted on May 14, 2012 from Karla DowningWe are commanded to forgive those that injure us, if we want to be forgiven by God (Matthew 6:14-15). Here are four common misconceptions about forgiveness that make it more difficult to do: It will let the person who wronged you off the hook if you forgive. Forgiveness is about letting go ...
Views: 3084 - Four Dysfunctional Family Characteristics That You Can Change - by Submitted on Jun 05, 2012 from Karla DowningDysfunctional families have similar characteristics regardless of the individual problems. Here are four dysfunctional family characteristics that you can change: Unpredictability - Life has twists and turns, but healthy relationships are pretty predictable compared to unhealthy ones because ...
Views: 3964 - Getting Past Stage One - Denial - by Submitted on Apr 29, 2012 from Karla DowningDenial is stage one of the grief process when you are dealing with any type of loss. Getting past denial is necessary, in order to move into anger, bargaining, depression/sadness and then finally into acceptance. Denial serves an important purpose: it cushions your response to painful events. ...
Views: 2470 - How to Be a Good Christian Wife - by Submitted on Apr 18, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you looking for guidance on how to be a good Christian wife? If so, here are seven things you simply must do. 1. Pray for your husband. The world is a difficult place for a man. They are competing in the marketplace for jobs, feeling the weight of the financial burden of providing for a ...
Views: 4758 - How to Change 5 Dysfunctional Family Rules to Functional Family Rules - by Submitted on Feb 29, 2012 from Karla DowningHow do you change 5 dysfunctional family rules to functional family rules? You simply do and encourage the opposite of the dysfunctional rules. Instead of Don't talk. Don't trust. Don't feel, and Don't be selfish, you Talk, Trust, Feel, Take Care of Yourself, and Rock the Boat. Talk. Be ...
Views: 3213 - How to Decide Your Boundaries When You're Asked to Help - Christian Codependency - by Submitted on Mar 02, 2012 from Karla DowningHere's an important tool in overcoming Christian codependency: When you are asked to help, you can decide what your boundaries are by considering these five things rather than thinking you have to do everything you are asked to do and becoming resentful. Halley decided to lend her sister money ...
Views: 820 - How to Let Go of Anxiety When People You Love Make Poor Choices - Christian Relationship Help - by Submitted on Mar 06, 2012 from Karla DowningThis Christian relationship help answers the question: How to let go of anxiety when people you love make poor choices? I just got off the phone with a friend distressed over a hurtful and intense argument she had with her husband where both of them brought up all the weapons in their arsenal ...
Views: 1543 - Identify Four Misbeliefs You Need to Change to Detach From False Guilt - Christian Codependency - by Submitted on Mar 01, 2012 from Karla DowningHere's another help to overcome Christian codependency: Identify four common misbeliefs you need to change to detach from false guilt. Guilt is meant to help us identify when we have done something wrong. Guilt can be experienced as a physical pain, a nagging sense that something is wrong, a ...
Views: 1734 - Marriage Help for Christians - 5 Stages Of Grief In Affairs For The Betrayed Spouse - by Submitted on Mar 12, 2012 from Karla DowningThis marriage help for Christians explains the five stages of grief that the betrayed spouse will go through when discovering that the spouse is having an affair. The last thing we plan on when we get married is our partner being unfaithful. People typically say that they would never tolerate it ...
Views: 3034 - Marriage Help for Christians - Four Things You Can Do To Change Your Difficult Marriage - by Submitted on Mar 15, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you looking for marriage help for Christians to guide you in deciding whether to stay in your difficult marriage? Before you decide to leave, make sure you have tried these four things: 1. Improve your own life. Other than dating, what would you be doing if you weren't married? How much ...
Views: 1047 - Marriage Help For Christians - How Does a Woman Respect a Man Who Does Not Love? - by Submitted on Mar 07, 2012 from Karla DowningThis marriage help for Christians answers the question: How does a woman respect a man who does not love her? Ephesians 5:33 says, "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband" (NIV). This isn't a problem in a healthy marriage, but ...
Views: 1313 - Overcome Christian Codependency - Do These 4 Things When Dealing With Chronic Illness In A Loved One - by Submitted on Mar 09, 2012 from Karla DowningThere are 4 things you must do when dealing with chronic illness in a loved one to overcome Christian codependency. When someone we care about is chronically ill, we react to it the same way people react to other situations that are continually stressful and uncontrollable. Christian ...
Views: 1350 - Overcome Christian Codependency By Learning How To Take Care Of Yourself - by Submitted on Mar 11, 2012 from Karla DowningYou can overcome Christian codependency by learning how to take care of yourself. Christian codependency promotes misconceptions about when God thinks it is okay to put yourself before others. We have to care about ourselves and others. One of the best ways to determine if you should put ...
Views: 1552 - Overcoming Christian Codependency - Four Truths To Determine When To Put Yourself Before Others - by Submitted on Mar 15, 2012 from Karla DowningWhen overcoming Christian codependency, how do you know when you should put your needs or the other person's needs first? By applying these four truths: 1. You have to stay emotionally, physically, spiritually, and mentally healthy. Ephesians 5:29 ...
Views: 988 - Overcoming Christian Codependency - Four Truths To Determine When To Put Yourself Before Others - by Submitted on Aug 13, 2012 from Karla DowningWhen overcoming Christian codependency, how do you know when you should put your needs or the other person's needs first? By applying these four truths: 1.You have to stay emotionally, physically, spiritually, and mentally healthy. Ephesians 5:29 "After all, no one ever hates his own body, ...
Views: 1491 - Prodigal Children - Six Things You Absolutely Must Do - by Submitted on Mar 22, 2012 from Karla DowningWatching your prodigal children make choices that you fear will cause pain and consequences and you know are out of God's will is heart-wrenching. The parable of the prodigal son in Luke 15:11-32 provides the model for six things you absolutely must do when dealing with your prodigal ...
Views: 1260 - Prodigals: Components of a Healthy Parent to Adult-Child Relationship - by Submitted on Aug 23, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you wondering what your relationship should be like with your adult child? When you raise your minor children, you focus on training, discipline, and obedience. When your child becomes an adult, the relationship between you changes. If your child is a prodigal because he/she is doing things ...
Views: 1268 - Releasing Your Prodigal Child God's Way - by Submitted on Sep 08, 2012 from Karla DowningIf you have a prodigal child, releasing isn't your first response. Your first response is to hold on tighter and try to force change any way possible. God has prodigal children too. He feels the same about them as you do yours. Releasing your prodigal child God's way is healthier than holding on ...
Views: 1323 - Setting Boundaries With Your Adult Children - How Much Involvement Is Enough? - by Submitted on Mar 14, 2012 from Karla DowningHow much involvement is enough when setting boundaries with your adult children? Just enough! You raise your children with the idea that when they turn 18, they will be completely independent with the exception of possibly paying for college. But just because a child turns 18 doesn't mean ...
Views: 2158 - Setting Boundaries With Your Adult Children The Way God Sets Boundaries With His Children - by Submitted on Sep 09, 2012 from Karla DowningChristians aren't the only people who need boundaries--everyone does--but when setting boundaries, Christians want to feel assured that the choices they are making are pleasing to God and biblically based. Knowing how God sets boundaries with you as his child helps you know how to set boundaries ...
Views: 1984 - Setting Boundaries With Your Adult Children: Five Signs You Are Enabling Your Adult Child - by Submitted on Oct 06, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you wondering if you are enabling your adult child? These five signs will help you to determine whether or not you are helping or hurting. "Enabling" means that your action allows someone to continue to do something they otherwise couldn't do without it. It is also doing something for others ...
Views: 2739 - Setting Boundaries With Your Adult Children: Five Ways God Wants You To Parent Your Adult Child - by Submitted on Aug 04, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you wondering about setting boundaries with your adult children? Parenting your adult child sounds like an oxymoron. The two really shouldn't go together, but they often do. There is an epidemic of children eighteen years and older (even much older) that still require involvement from their ...
Views: 1799 - Signs Your Relationship Needs Professional Help - by Submitted on Apr 16, 2012 from Karla DowningRelationships aren't easy and all relationships have rough spots, disagreements, and adjustments. That said, there are times you need to get help to work things out. Here are seven signs your relationship needs professional help: 1. You have the same argument over and over that isn't ...
Views: 837 - Speaking The Truth In Love - 8 Tips To Overcome Difficulty In Expressing Your Thoughts - by Submitted on Mar 30, 2012 from Karla DowningDo you struggle with speaking the truth in love in your relationships? If you answered yes, this biblical truth and tip will help you. Some people are not naturally verbal and have difficulty expressing their thoughts, especially in emotionally volatile and unpleasant circumstances. When they ...
Views: 1439 - Speaking The Truth In Love - Don't Let Your Truth Be Invalidated - by Submitted on Mar 29, 2012 from Karla DowningDo you struggle with speaking the truth in love in your relationships? If you answered yes, this biblical truth and tip will help you. One of the major pitfalls to avoid is allowing yourself to be easily invalidated by the other person's defensiveness, abuse, arguments, disagreement, denial, and ...
Views: 992 - Speaking The Truth In Love - Don't Take Personalities Personal - by Submitted on Mar 28, 2012 from Karla DowningDo you struggle with speaking the truth in love in your relationships? If you answered yes, this biblical truth and tip will help you by showing you how not to take personalities personal. Taking the person's response personal will hinder you in speaking your truth. Instead, DETACH! DETACH! ...
Views: 887 - Speaking The Truth In Love - Expressing Your Truth Before You Set Boundaries - by Submitted on Mar 29, 2012 from Karla DowningDo you struggle with speaking the truth in love in your relationships? If you answered yes, this biblical truth and tip will help you. Difficult relationships have lots of issues to deal with. There are disappointments, hurts, unmet expectations, irresponsible choices, unacceptable behavior, ...
Views: 1401 - Speaking the Truth in Love - Keep It Short - by Submitted on Mar 21, 2012 from Karla DowningDo you struggle with speaking the truth in love in your relationships? If you answered yes, then this biblical truth and tip will help you. One of the mistakes we make is that we get caught up in the desire to convince the other person that we are right and as a result, we use too many words. ...
Views: 1088 - Speaking The Truth In Love - Keep Your Cool - by Submitted on Mar 24, 2012 from Karla DowningDo you struggle with speaking the truth in love in your relationships? If you answered yes, this biblical truth and tip will help you. Speaking when you feel panicky, anxious, or emotionally reactive and thinking you have to make IT (your reason for speaking) happen NOW will sabotage your ...
Views: 1023 - Speaking The Truth In Love - Know Your Truth First - by Submitted on Mar 27, 2012 from Karla DowningDo you struggle with speaking the truth in love in your relationships? If you answered yes, this biblical truth and tip will help you by helping you to know your truth first. Is it possible to speak too soon? Yes. If you aren't fully convinced of your stance, beliefs, and perceptions, then you ...
Views: 996 - Speaking The Truth In Love - Refuse To Argue Or Defend Your Truth - by Submitted on Mar 28, 2012 from Karla DowningDo you struggle with speaking the truth in love in your relationships? If you answered yes, this biblical truth and tip will help you by showing you how to learn to refuse to argue or defend your truth. Allowing yourself to get into a defensive position with your truth weakens your position. ...
Views: 1923 - Speaking The Truth In Love - Timing Matters - by Submitted on Mar 27, 2012 from Karla DowningDo you struggle with speaking the truth in love in your relationships? If you answered yes, this biblical truth and tip will help you. Speaking at the wrong time can sabotage your communication. Timing does matter. Like it or not, there is wisdom in using timing to your advantage. You've ...
Views: 1157 - Speaking The Truth In Love - To Speak Or Not To Speak - by Submitted on Mar 24, 2012 from Karla DowningDo you struggle with speaking the truth in love in your relationships? If you answered yes, this biblical truth and tip will help you. One of the misconceptions people have is thinking that they have to speak their truth. They don't. Wisdom is needed in deciding who to talk to and what to ...
Views: 1238 - Speaking The Truth In Love - Use "I Statements" To Minimize Defensiveness - by Submitted on Mar 26, 2012 from Karla DowningDo you struggle with speaking the truth in love in your relationships? If you answered yes, this biblical truth and tip will help you by showing you how to use "I statements" to minimize defensiveness. When sharing your truth, your approach matters. You can share your truth in a way that ...
Views: 1523 - Speaking The Truth In Love Even When It Hurts - by Submitted on Mar 20, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you struggling with speaking the truth in your relationships because you are afraid of causing the other person to be hurt, unhappy, or upset? Then, this biblical truth and tip will help you. The most common concern Christians express when being honest is the fear that it will hurt the ...
Views: 1504 - Speaking The Truth To Someone Who Will Use Your Words to Hurt You - by Submitted on Mar 21, 2012 from Karla DowningDo you struggle with speaking the truth in love in your difficult relationships? If you answered yes, this biblical truth and tip will help you. It is important to speak the truth, but we need to use wisdom in deciding who we should speak to and what we should say, so we can protect ...
Views: 1173 - Three Causes of Christian Codependency - by Submitted on May 15, 2012 from Karla DowningAre you looking for help for your Christian codependency? If so, one of the things you might be wondering is what caused your codependency. In the 1980s, codependency was originally used to describe the dysfunctional patterns of family members of chemically dependent people who were also called ...
Views: 2665 - Three Signs That You Haven't Forgiven Your Offender - by Submitted on May 05, 2012 from Karla DowningIt isn't always easy to know when you have actually forgiven someone, especially when it is someone close to you and the emotions run deep and the relationship is complicated. God commands you to forgive, if you want to be forgiven by him (Matthew 6:14-15), so it is important to know how to ...
Views: 2067 - What Makes Codependency Qualify As Christian Codependency? - by Submitted on Apr 09, 2012 from Karla DowningBefore we answer the question "What makes codependency qualify as Christian codependency?" we need to understand the history of the term. In the 1980s, codependency was originally used to describe the dysfunctional patterns of family members of chemically dependent people who were also called ...
Views: 2235 - What to Do If You're a Victim of Domestic Violence - 5 Sources of Help - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2012 from Karla DowningWhat should you do if you are a victim of domestic violence? You should get help, even if you are not sure you are ready to leave the relationship. Here are five sources of help that are available to you, each of which has various benefits. 1. Friends and Family: Friends and family offer you ...
Views: 958 - When Does a Relationship Qualify As Abusive? What Are Boundaries That Must Not Be Crossed - by Submitted on Apr 18, 2012 from Karla DowningWhen does a relationship qualify as abusive? One of the ways to answer that question is to look at boundaries that must never be crossed. Boundaries are intended to protect you as a valued person in a relationship. There are four boundaries that abusive people violate because they do not see you ...
Views: 1340 - Why Love Is a Choice, Not an Emotion - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2012 from Karla DowningWhy is love a choice and not an emotion? The emotional component of love that we associate with feeling "loving" isn't consistent. For a relationship to be solid, there has to be consistency. Choosing to love means one will choose actions that demonstrate love regardless of the emotion that is ...
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