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Articles from Leslie Cane | Selfgrowth.com
- Saving Your Marriage By Changing Yourself. Why And How It Works - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2020 from Leslie CaneBy the time most people get around to emailing me, their marriage has typically been in trouble for a while. It's so easy to just ignore the problem and hope that it will go away until it reaches a point where you can no longer do that. It's often only then that folks will sit down, roll up ...
Views: 510 - Should I Tell My Husband That I Can't Live Without Him? Here's What You Should Do Instead Because This Strategy May Work Better - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2020 from Leslie CaneBelieve it or not, I get this question quite a bit. It usually comes from wives who feel that a divorce or separation is imminent and they do not know how they are going to survive without living together and/or being married. These wives are looking for something to stop the bleeding so to ...
Views: 510 - I Want To Save My Marriage, But It's Not Working. What Am I Doing Wrong? - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from people who aren't sure how much more work they can put into their marriage. Often, they feel as if they have been working for a long and difficult time, although they have little to show for it. And many times, they are disappointed that they are not seeing any real change ...
Views: 508 - My Husband Makes Me Feel Invisible: Sometimes I Want To Leave Him Because He Doesn't Appreciate Me. - by Submitted on Apr 25, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from people who feel desperately unappreciated by their spouse. At first, they will sometimes try to tell themselves that they are expecting too much or being too needy. But, with time, when it doesn't ever get any better, it starts to wear on you. And you begin to wonder if ...
Views: 507 - How To Fight For Your Marriage Without Fighting With Your Husband: Hint. You Don't "Fight" At All - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often write articles about saving marriages. Perhaps it's because wives research this topic more than men, or perhaps it's because women are more proactive in their marriages, but I'm most often contacted by wives (and a few husbands too) who tell me something like: "Our relationship is in ...
Views: 506 - What to Do When Your Husband is Not Affectionate. How To Get Him To Stop Withdrawing - by Submitted on Apr 19, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often write about saving marriages. Yet, I get a lot of emails from wives who are afraid that their husband's lack of affection and verbal and non-verbal reassurance is a sign that their husband has "fallen out of love" with them, has checked out of the marriage, or that severe marital ...
Views: 503 - How To Survive An Unloving Marriage: Strategies That Might Help Even If Your Spouse Is Sarcastic, Critical, And Nasty - by Submitted on Apr 23, 2020 from Leslie CaneI heard from a wife who was seemingly at the end of her rope. She described her marriage as "unloving" and said that very recently, there had begun to be a lot of tension in their home. When the affection started to wane, she didn't worry too much about it because she knew that it could be ...
Views: 502 - I Just Don't Feel That My Husband Loves Me - by Submitted on Apr 09, 2020 from Leslie CaneI recently heard from a wife who felt strongly that her husband no longer loved her. For the past couple of years, she had noticed a shift in her marriage. He no longer lit up when he looked at her. He no longer listened intently when she talked. He no longer spontaneously touched her or showed ...
Views: 498 - My Husband Claims He Wants To Reconcile, But I'm Scared He's Just Playing Games To Buy Some Time. - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2020 from Leslie CaneMost of the wives who write to or reach out to me are trying very hard to get their separated husband to come home. Many fantasize about this for some time. So when it finally happens and their husband indicates that he would be open to a reconciliation, you would think that they would be ...
Views: 496 - My Separated Husband Says He's Hurt Me Too Much To Come Home. What Now? - by Submitted on Apr 13, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from wives whose husband is telling them that he isn't ready to come home or commit to the marriage because he fears that he's done something that has hurt her or his marriage too much. I might hear: “my husband left home about six weeks ago. He admitted to having an affair ...
Views: 496 - How Do I Save My Marriage When He Doesn't Want To? My Husband Doesn't Want To Be Married Anymore But I Do. - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often hear from people who are trying to decide their next course of action after their spouse has announced that they no longer want to be married. Recently, I heard from a wife who said, in part: "Out of the blue, my husband sat me down and told me that he doesn't want to be married anymore. ...
Views: 494 - Why Do Marriages End? Understanding The True Answer May Save Your Marriage - by Submitted on Apr 21, 2020 from Leslie CaneI write about saving and rescuing marriages. As a result, I sometimes receive emails from folks wanting to know why their marriages are ending and what they can do to stop, delay, or bypass this process. Often, when I ask why the marriage is in trouble, I get a range of about five different ...
Views: 493 - When Is It Time To Stop Trying To Save Your Marriage If You're Miserable And Unhappy? - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes get correspondence from people who confess that their marriage has been "unhappy," "stale," or "unfulfilling" for quite a while. And, most have hung in there because they had hoped things would get better or because they were opposed to a separation or divorce. But after a while of ...
Views: 492 - I Don't Know If I'm Ready To End My Marriage: Tips And Advice That Might Help - by Submitted on Apr 13, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from people who just aren't sure if they are truly ready to walk away from their spouse and their marriage. Sometimes, they themselves are the ones who initiated the separation, divorce, or thoughts of giving up. Other times, they are responding to (and are at the mercy of) a ...
Views: 491 - Can Unhappy Marriages Become Happy Again? Yes! Here's What It Takes To Rebuild. - by Submitted on Apr 26, 2020 from Leslie CaneIt's common for me to hear from people who are dealing with an unhappy spouse or an unhappy marriage. Rebuilding contentment in your marriage is challenging enough, but the challenge can feel insurmountable when your spouse expresses doubt about your ability to be a happy couple going forward. ...
Views: 486 - In A Loveless, Unhappy Marriage But Staying Married For the Sake of the Children? Should You Stay Together Only For the Kids? - by Submitted on Apr 24, 2020 from Leslie CaneI get a lot of correspondence from spouses (who are usually wives) that admit to me that they are "only staying married for the sake of the children." These wives often admit that they are quite unhappy and they worry that their lack of passion for life is going to influence or negatively affect ...
Views: 486 - My Husband Hates His Life. How Do I Help Support Him When He Is This Confused And Dissatisfied? - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from people who are dealing with a spouse who has become cold, distant, and "confused." People are sometimes quick to label this as a mid-life crisis, but it can happen at any point in a person's life. Typically what you will see is that your spouse will suddenly no longer feel ...
Views: 486 - How Do I Make Things Right With My Husband? He Says I Don't Make An Effort For Him Anymore - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from wives who feel quite criticized and unaccepted by their husbands. One of the common complaints is that the wife "no longer makes an effort" or "has let herself go." I fully admit that I often side with the wives on this topic. Because I've been on the receiving end of this ...
Views: 485 - How To React When You Love Your Husband But He Doesn't Love You Back: Strategies With The Highest Chance Of Success - by Submitted on Apr 24, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often get emails from wives who feel that their husbands either don't love them enough or don't love them at all. I hear comments like "he doesn't love me nearly as much as I love him," or "I love him very much, but he doesn't love me back," or "if only it was enough that I adore him, but he ...
Views: 485 - Husband Says He Wants a Trial Separation, But You Don't? These Tips Might Help. - by Submitted on Apr 15, 2020 from Leslie CaneI'm often contacted by panicked wives who tell me that their husband is pushing for a trial separation and they want to know how to change his mind before he walks out the door. Their thinking is that, once their husband has actually left, it's going to be harder to get him to come back than it ...
Views: 485 - How Do I Reconcile With My Husband After A Separation When He Says He's Not Ready For A Reconciliation? - by Submitted on May 05, 2020 from Leslie CaneMany wives are crushed that their husband will not agree to a reconciliation. Sometimes, they are separated. And other times, they are just living separate lives within the same house. Often, the wives aren't sure how to best address this, especially when the two seem so far apart, with no ...
Views: 484 - Want to Win Your Husband Back? Here's How to Get Started - by Submitted on Apr 15, 2020 from Leslie CaneIf you're researching how to win your husband back, then you are probably where I was a few years ago - either your marriage isn't as stable as you'd like, or your husband has mentioned leaving or divorcing, or you feel that you're relationship is headed in a dangerous direction. I have no way ...
Views: 484 - I Want to Save My Marriage But My Husband Doesn't: How To Get Your Husband To Drop His Defenses And Work With You - by Submitted on Apr 21, 2020 from Leslie CaneThe majority of wives who visit this blog desperately want to save their marriages but feel that they are the only ones who want to. So often, I get emails that go something like: "Help! I want to save my marriage, but my husband doesn't. How can I prevent a divorce when I'm the only one who ...
Views: 483 - How Do I Make My Husband Value And Respect Me More? How Do I Make Him Realize My Worth? - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often hear from people who don't feel completely appreciated by their spouse. And, this complaint can come from both a husband and a wife. It is not limited to one particular sex or gender. However, I find that women tend to feel unappreciated a bit more since household and child-rearing ...
Views: 479 - Is It Just A Cop-Out When Your Husband Says He Loves You But Is Not "In Love" With You? - by Submitted on Apr 11, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often hear from wives who have been fed the "I love you but I'm not in love with you" line that many husbands will give when they aren't sure if they want to be married anymore. This is a very common topic that comes up time and time again. Many of the wives have trouble understanding what ...
Views: 478 - I Want Advice on Saving My Marriage With My Husband: Why It's The Small, Genuine, Collaborative Changes That Make All The Difference - by Submitted on Apr 19, 2020 from Leslie CaneA couple of days ago, I received an email from a wife who had been married for well over a decade. She shared with me that, over the last couple of years, she has felt her husband slipping away. She told me that her husband " spends less time at home, doesn't show me nearly as much affection, ...
Views: 477 - Want To Ask For A Second Chance In Your Marriage? Tips For Avoiding Harmful Mistakes. - by Submitted on Apr 15, 2020 from Leslie CanePerhaps your spouse is only frustrated in the marriage. Perhaps he or she has taken it further already asked for a divorce or break. Maybe you've simply made a mistake and want to ask your husband and wife for forgiveness, to start over, or for another chance. Whatever your circumstances, I ...
Views: 476 - I Left My Husband But It Was A Mistake. I Miss Him And Feel Guilty. Should I Go Back To Try To Save My Family? - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2020 from Leslie CaneFamily can be a huge contributing factor in whether you attempt to save your marriage or not. Many people confess to me that were it not for their children, the decision of whether or not to end their marriage would probably be a lot easier. Children can even factor into the equation once the ...
Views: 475 - I Want To Save My Marriage, But I Think My Husband Is Seeing Someone Else While We're Separated. - by Submitted on Apr 14, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often hear from people (usually wives) who would very much like to save their marriage while they are separated, but they wonder if this will be possible because they suspect (or know for sure) that their husband is seeing someone else. It's hard enough to save your marriage together as a ...
Views: 474 - Should I Try To Make My Husband Feel Guilty For Wanting A Divorce? How? - by Submitted on Apr 10, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often hear from wives who are scrambling to come up with the best course of action after their husband tells them that he wants a divorce. Many of them are looking for a way to make their husbands either regret the decision to divorce or to see that it is the wrong decision in the first ...
Views: 474 - Can My Marriage Be Saved When My Husband Wants A Separation? - by Submitted on Apr 11, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often hear from panicked wives whose husbands have just or recently told them that he wants a separation. For many wives, the "s word" is often akin to proclaiming that the marriage is most definitely over, at least in her eyes. Many people associate a separation with an eventual divorce and ...
Views: 473 - I Want My Husband Even More Now That He's Left Me. Is This Normal? - by Submitted on Apr 09, 2020 from Leslie CaneI recently heard from a wife who wasn't sure why she felt the way that she did. Her husband of five years had decided that he wasn't happy being married and he felt that he should explore life on his own to see if it would make him happier. He didn't give the wife much warning about this. He ...
Views: 471 - Reasons A Separated Husband Won't Say "I Love You." And What You Should Do About It. - by Submitted on Apr 26, 2020 from Leslie CaneSometimes, when you are reluctantly separated from your spouse, hearing the words "I love you," can make you feel as if you have won the lottery. After all, when you never wanted the separation in the first place, you are looking for anything that might give you hope that one day, the separation ...
Views: 469 - Signs You're Not Yet Ready To Give Up On Your Marriage - by Submitted on Apr 16, 2020 from Leslie CaneI often hear from frustrated wives (and sometimes husbands too) who are at their wit's end or at a crossroads in their marriage. Typically, the marriage is in real trouble and the wife has done seemingly everything in her power to save it, but nothing seems to be working. I'll often get comments ...
Views: 469 - My Husband's Heart Is Hardened Toward Me. Can My Heartfelt Words Get My Husband To Change His Mind About The Divorce? - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from people who are looking for the perfect words to say in order to finally get through to the spouse who wants a divorce. Often, they know that this conversation is going to be a last-ditch effort, especially since they have had trouble getting through to their spouse in the ...
Views: 468 - My Separated Husband Demands Space, But I Feel Like A Liar When I Hide And Fight My True Feelings. - by Submitted on Apr 27, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from spouses who realize that it's important to give their spouse some space during the trial separation. Many are also fully aware that this time is best used for working on themselves and for allowing the distance to create a longing for one another so that their marriage ...
Views: 468 - How To Reconcile With Your Husband After A Separation By Understanding (And Acting On) The Power Of Distance - by Submitted on May 04, 2020 from Leslie CaneIt would be nice if reconciling a marriage was an easy task, with both parties committed and confident that it is possible to work things out. But, this isn't always the case. Most people who visit my site are wives (and sometimes husbands) who are either trying to save the marriage alone, or ...
Views: 465 - My Husband Wants to Leave Me: Understanding What Situations Create Runaway Husbands And Which Tactics To Use - by Submitted on Apr 18, 2020 from Leslie CaneSince I often write about saving marriages, regaining the love and spark in your marriage, and restoring intimacy and closeness, I'm often asked what is the best way to react or proceed when you know that you husband wants to leave. The answer to this will greatly depend upon the situation, but ...
Views: 465 - Our Marriage Is In Serious Trouble. What If My Husband Leaves? I'm So Anxious About This. - by Submitted on Apr 30, 2020 from Leslie CaneMost people who value their marriage see their spouse leaving them, initiating a separation, or filing for divorce as the worst-case scenario. No one wants to be abandoned by their spouse or unsure about the future of their marriage. And, if you think that any of these things are possible, then ...
Views: 464 - My Husband Doesn't Help Out Around The House. Does This Mean That He Doesn't Love Me Or Care About Our Marriage Anymore? - by Submitted on Apr 26, 2020 from Leslie CaneThere are certain behaviors that wives start to notice when they suspect that their husband has begun to check out of their marriage. One example is when he is no longer interested in making sure that the home runs smoothly. Perhaps he used to take an interest in household maintenance (even if ...
Views: 463 - My Husband Says He's Leaving Me "To Think." What In The World Does He Need To Think About? - by Submitted on Apr 11, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from wives whose husband has left them "because he needs some time to think." That's pretty much the extent of what he tells the wife. Rarely does he go a little deeper and offer up an explanation as to just what "thinking" actually means. Understandably, the wives are not ...
Views: 462 - How To Talk To My Husband About My Feelings? Why Does He Refuse To Understand Me Or Care? He Won't Make Any Attempt Whatsoever - by Submitted on Apr 22, 2020 from Leslie CaneThe vast majority of people that I hear from do not feel understood or heard by their spouse. I find that many folks do not comprehend just how serious of a problem this might be. Sure, no one is perfect at communicating or at reading someone else's clues. And sure, all marriages can ...
Views: 460 - What to Do When Your Unhappy Husband Wants a Divorce, But You Don't? Four Steps That Might Help You Save Your Marriage. - by Submitted on Apr 17, 2020 from Leslie CaneIf you're reading this article, it's highly likely that your husband wants a divorce and you don't. Of course, I do not know whether he's merely suggested divorce or separation, you're actively going through it, or if he's already left. No matter the situation, this article will tell you the ...
Views: 460 - My Marriage is Falling Apart - Advice That May Help - by Submitted on Apr 16, 2020 from Leslie CaneI received an email from a very frustrated and confused wife who told me that her marriage was falling apart and she had no idea how to proceed because everything that she tried only seemed to make things worse. She'd tried confronting the problem head-on. She'd tried having a deep, heart to ...
Views: 459 - Tips to Save a Marriage - My Top Three and My Best Advice - by Submitted on Apr 15, 2020 from Leslie CaneThe following tips may seem counterintuitive at times, but please bear with me. They are based on my personal experience and the endless research I conducted when I was trying to save my own marriage. Your success will depend on how well you play them and the state of your relationship today, ...
Views: 459 - When a Spouse Says You Deserve Better and Wants a Divorce: Tips On Where To Place Your Focus - by Submitted on Apr 20, 2020 from Leslie CaneThe other day, I received an email from a very upset wife who told me that her husband had sat her down, indicated that he'd been thinking long and hard about their marriage, and had decided that she "deserved better so he wanted a divorce." Needless to say, she's very confused by this. She ...
Views: 459 - The Two Things You Should Do When Trying To Save Your Marriage With A Reluctant Husband - by Submitted on Apr 18, 2020 from Leslie CaneIf you're thinking about this phrase or asking the questions that stem from it, then it's probably safe to say the state of your marriage isn't as strong or as stable as you would like it to be. I don't know the specifics of your situation, or whether your spouse is just not as happy as he could ...
Views: 458 - I'd Do Anything To Get My Husband To Stay. What Can I Do? - by Submitted on Apr 09, 2020 from Leslie CaneI sometimes hear from wives who are desperate for some sort of plan to make their husbands stay with them. Often, the husband has suggested a break, separation, or divorce. This is usually the last thing that the wives who write to me want. A wife might say, in part: "I would do absolutely ...
Views: 457 - My Husband Has Emotionally Checked Out And Is Cold And Distant. How Can I Make Him Love Me Again When He's Emotionally Detached? - by Submitted on May 06, 2020 from Leslie CaneMany of the women who visit my blog can literally feel their husband or their boyfriend slipping away from them. The distance is a feeling that has become so real that you can almost touch it. I often hear things like "our relationship today is just so different. He's cold, indifferent, and ...
Views: 457 - What is the Best Way to Save a Marriage? - by Submitted on Apr 18, 2020 from Leslie CaneIf you're researching this question, I'm assuming that your marriage is not on firm ground or is in trouble. I don't know if you're contemplating divorce, already taking a break from the relationship, or just wanting to improve upon what you already have. No matter which situation you're in, ...
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