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Articles from Margaret Paul | Selfgrowth.com
- *** "What's The Point of a Relationship?" - by Submitted on Oct 18, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Do you sometimes have confusion regarding the value of a relationship? ________________________________________ Jeanine asked me the following question at one of my free webinars: "Hi Dr. Paul, thank you so much for your wonderful work and for ...
Views: 1470 - *** Avoiding Emotional Pain Causes Emotional Pain - by Submitted on May 30, 2016 from Margaret PaulWe all learned many ways of avoiding pain as we were growing up, but what once seemed to protect us against pain is now actually causing our pain. We all had to learn many ways of avoiding emotional pain as we were growing up, because we could not have survived the pain of childhood ...
Views: 1351 - *** If You Learn To Love Yourself, Will You End Up Alone? - by Submitted on Oct 04, 2016 from Margaret PaulBy Margaret Paul, Ph.D. October 03, 2016 If you learn to love yourself and you become happy and whole, will you end up alone? Will a partner want you if you are not needy? I had been working with Kathleen for a few months when we had the following discussion: KATHLEEN: I know that the ...
Views: 1267 - *** Letting Go Of A Sugar Addiction - by Submitted on Feb 01, 2013 from Margaret PaulHave you tried unsuccessfully to heal a sugar addiction? Here's how! Are you sugar addicted? You are not alone! I used to be intensely sugar addicted. I craved it all the time, and it seems like the more I ate, the more I wanted it. The fact that it made me feel terrible – first ...
Views: 1485 - *** Loving Yourself Through Heartbreak and Grief - by Submitted on Dec 05, 2016 from Margaret PaulBy Margaret Paul, PhD December 05, 2016 ________________________________________ Learn how to love yourself through heartbreak and grief, rather than continue to abandon yourself in ways that are hurting you. ________________________________________ Take a moment right now to ...
Views: 1262 - *** Loving Yourself Through Holiday Stress - by Submitted on Dec 19, 2016 from Margaret PaulBy Margaret Paul, PhD December 19, 2016 ________________________________________ Do the holidays and other family events or gatherings stress you out? Discover what might be the underlying cause of this stress and what to do about it. ________________________________________ "OMG, ...
Views: 1056 - *** Over-Talking: The Need to Talk Too Much - by Submitted on Jun 27, 2014 from Margaret PaulAre you aware of needing to talk too much, or have you been with people who go on and on? There is a good reason for this. I have found over the years of practicing Inner Bonding that the more I listen to myself, the less need I have for others to listen to me and hear me. Not that ...
Views: 1174 - *** Speaking Your Truth Without Blame or Judgment - by Submitted on Mar 16, 2009 from Margaret PaulHow often have you become irritated or angry, given yourself up, started to argue or debate, teach or explain, or withdrew when someone was treating you badly - ordering you around, judging you, blaming you, or dumping their complaints or negativity on you? How often have you behaved in any of ...
Views: 3975 - *** Succeeding Through Failure - by Submitted on Nov 22, 2013 from Margaret Paul"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed. --Michael Jordan, Former Professional Basketball Player and ...
Views: 1229 - *** When It's Loving To Share Your Feelings…And When It's Not - by Submitted on Sep 05, 2014 from Margaret PaulHow often have you shared your feelings and the other person became angry and defensive? How often have you heard that it's good to "share your feelings"? How often have you shared your feelings and it backfired on you? Perhaps you find yourself saying "But I'm just ...
Views: 1025 - *** Why Relationships Fail - by Submitted on Dec 13, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Discover the major cause of relationship failure and what to do about it. ________________________________________ Most people, when asked if they want a loving relationship, will say that having a loving relationship is one of the two most important ...
Views: 1466 - ***"Can We Be Friends After A Relationship Ends?” - by Submitted on Apr 19, 2013 from Margaret PaulDiscover what you may need to address before deciding whether you can be friends with an ex partner. Elise writes: "My partner and I separated a year ago. My partner now wants to finalize the relationship but work on being 'friends'. I am having difficulty connecting as just ...
Views: 1516 - ***"Divorced and Reconciled – But It's Not Working" - by Submitted on Aug 09, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ After reconciling with your partner, do you find yourself back in the same pattern? ________________________________________ Nancy wrote to me asking the following question: "My husband and I were married for 15 years. Divorced. Reconciled after 9 ...
Views: 1551 - ***"How Can I Get Him To Stop Hurting Me?" - by Submitted on May 24, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Are you aware of the system you have created with your partner that may be causing you pain? ________________________________________ I have worked with couples for 44 years, and one thing I can tell you for sure: relationships are a system, and each ...
Views: 1230 - ***"How Can I Let Love In?" - by Submitted on Jul 26, 2013 from Margaret PaulDo you want to share love, but find yourself pulling away or pushing others away? Do you find yourself wanting love but being afraid to really open to it? This is the situation Marley finds herself in: "How can I do a better job of letting love in and sharing love? I seem to ...
Views: 1464 - ***"How Can I Manage Overwhelm?" - by Submitted on Oct 18, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Do you often feel overwhelmed with demands, tasks and life in general? ________________________________________ Most of us lead very busy lives and it is easy to become overwhelmed with all we need to do. In addition, about 15% to 20% of us are born ...
Views: 1261 - ***"How Can I Not Get Hurt By Others' Judgments?" - by Submitted on Sep 20, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Do you have a misconception about what it means to be a strong and emotionally healthy person? ________________________________________ Do you have an expectation that if you were emotionally healthy, you would not feel hurt in the face of others' ...
Views: 1428 - ***"How Do I Deal With My Critical Mother?" - by Submitted on May 17, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Dealing with critical people, especially a parent, is a challenge for all of us. Here are some options for dealing with a critical mother. ________________________________________ Having a critical mother is a big challenge. I know, because I grew up ...
Views: 1276 - ***"How Do I Know When The Issue Is Mine?" - by Submitted on Jan 05, 2016 from Margaret PaulMargaret Paul, Ph.D. January 04, 2016 Do you sometimes get confused regarding whether a relationship issue is about you, about your partner, or about both of you? Alexa asked me the following question: "How do you know when you are self-abandoning and being needy versus setting off ...
Views: 1505 - ***"I Don't Know How To Give Her What She Wants From Me." - by Submitted on Jan 18, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Do you sometimes feel like you try to give your partner the connection he or she wants and can't figure out how? ________________________________________ I was having a Skype session with Andrea and Lawrence. Married for 18 years with two teen-age ...
Views: 1435 - ***"I Lose My Cool In Relationships." - by Submitted on Jun 20, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Do you find that as soon as you really like someone – whether as a friend or as a partner – you 'lose your cool?' ________________________________________ Relationships offer us more opportunities for personal growth than just about anything else in ...
Views: 1226 - ***"I Lose Myself Around Others" - by Submitted on Jul 26, 2013 from Margaret PaulHave you wondered why you are often able to take loving care of yourself when you are alone but you lose yourself in relationships? Discover the answer now! Do you find that you take loving care of yourself when you are alone, but that you lose yourself with someone you are ...
Views: 1551 - ***"I Want To Open But I'm Scared of Getting Hurt." - by Submitted on Aug 28, 2013 from Margaret PaulAre you afraid to open your heart to love, for fear of getting hurt? Learn how to lovingly manage the hurt. Is it possible to fully love without getting hurt? The answer is unequivocally NO! Is this because love hurts? Again, the answer is NO! It is not love that hurts. It's ...
Views: 1309 - ***"I'm Not Important Enough To Want To Love Myself - by Submitted on Apr 28, 2015 from Margaret PaulDiscover what to do if you are stuck not being able to love yourself. When you were growing up, did you feel important to your parents? Did they attend to you in loving ways to show you how important you were to them? Or, did you often feel like a bother or a burden to them? Did either of ...
Views: 1427 - ***"If I Move Into My Power, Will I End Up Alone?" - by Submitted on Mar 07, 2014 from Margaret PaulDo you have the common false belief that the better you feel about yourself, the more alone you will be? Yolanda asks: "What is coming up for me is -- if I completely move out of self-judgment and fully take the responsibility to actualize the deepest yearnings of my Soul, I ...
Views: 1081 - ***"Is There Hope For Our Relationship?" - by Submitted on Feb 28, 2014 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Discover what you can do to give your relationship a chance. ________________________________________ Lauren asks: "I have been married for 12 years, our marriage has always been a struggle of various forms. I have gotten to feel so empty and ...
Views: 1123 - ***"It's Not Fair!" - by Submitted on Jan 18, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Do you continue to believe, in the face of all evidence to the contrary, that life should be fair? Discover a new way of looking at fairness. ________________________________________ "Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good ...
Views: 1325 - ***"My Wife Won't Have Sex With Me " - by Submitted on Aug 28, 2013 from Margaret PaulIs sex mostly gone out of your relationship? There are always good reasons for this. Do you identify with Lawrence, whose wife won't have sex with him? In my work with individuals and couples, I often hear this complaint. Lawrence asks: "Would you please address how one deals ...
Views: 1909 - ***"No One Appreciates Me" - by Submitted on Jun 30, 2011 from Margaret PaulHave you ever hear yourself say, or said to yourself, "No one appreciates me."I used to say this to myself all the time. I was constantly giving myself up to please others, and then ended up feeling completely unappreciated and resentful - until I learned how to take loving care of ...
Views: 2467 - ***"When Someone's Behavior Affects Me, What Can I Do?" - by Submitted on Apr 15, 2015 from Margaret PaulWhen someone's behavior is affecting you, what can you do, other than blame them? We Are Not Separate Some authors suggest that, when we are healthy enough, we will not be affected by others' unloving verbal behavior. We will rise above it and not take their words personally – that "Sticks ...
Views: 1816 - ***"Why Didn't God Stop The Abuse?" - by Submitted on Nov 27, 2013 from Margaret PaulHave you ever wondered why God allows so much abuse, so much pain, so much war? "God has no hands but these." - Mother Theresa I am often asked by my clients, "If God is all powerful, why didn't he stop my father (or mother, or brother, or babysitter, or uncle ...
Views: 1563 - ***"Why Do I Feel Shame When I'm Being Blamed?" - by Submitted on Oct 18, 2013 from Margaret Paul______________________________________ What's really happening when someone blames and shames you? If you stopped taking it personally, what would you be feeling? ________________________________________ What do you generally do when someone blames you for his or her feelings? Do you find ...
Views: 1406 - ***"Why Do I Seem to Attract Rejection?" - by Submitted on Sep 20, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Are you perplexed regarding why you so often feel rejected by others? ________________________________________ Alana asked me the following question: "My whole life I have felt that I don't fit in with others - in my family, school, work - and ...
Views: 1279 - ******Filling Up Emptiness From The Inside - by Submitted on Feb 21, 2014 from Margaret PaulFor many people, inner emptiness is a big problem. They believe that they can fill their emptiness from the outside, which is a false belief. The cause of inner emptiness is a lack of a loving connection with your inner child - your essence, your true Self, your Being, which then results in ...
Views: 1135 - ***7 Rules for Saving Your Marriage - by Submitted on Oct 09, 2008 from Margaret PaulIs your marriage in trouble? The first question you need to ask yourself is: "Do I want to save this marriage or do I want to leave it?" If the answer is that you want to save it, then this article is for you. Following are 7 rules or choices that you can make to completely change the course ...
Views: 3359 - ***7 Step "Tongue-in-Cheek" Guide To Never Having an Experience of God - by Submitted on Jul 08, 2008 from Margaret PaulAre you one of those people who secretly wish you believed in God? Or are you one of those people who believe in God in an abstract way rather than a personal way? Are you actually doing everything you can to never have an experience of God, while denying that this is what you are doing? Now you ...
Views: 3648 - ***7 Step Guide To Staying Completely Stuck In Your Life - by Submitted on May 23, 2008 from Margaret PaulAre you stuck in your life? Do you receive some satisfaction from staying stuck and from no one being able to help you get unstuck? If you are invested in staying stuck, why not do it consciously and deliberately? Here is your guide to never getting unstuck. 1. Make Resistance Your Guiding ...
Views: 2484 - ***8-Step Guide To Messing Up Your Kids - by Submitted on Mar 31, 2008 from Margaret PaulWe all know that most parents REALLY want to be good parents. But since it is rare for parents to take parenting classes before becoming parents, we inadvertently do lots of things to mess up our kids. This tongue-in-cheek article may help you to see what you are doing! 1. IGNORE THE ...
Views: 2322 - ***Accessing Great Thoughts From Your Spiritual Guidance - by Submitted on Dec 27, 2016 from Margaret PaulBy Margaret Paul, PhD December 27, 2016 ________________________________________ Have you discovered what connects you with your spiritual Guidance and supports you in downloading 'great thoughts?' ________________________________________ "All truly great thoughts are conceived ...
Views: 1109 - ***Addiction to Convenience - by Submitted on Sep 23, 2015 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Is convenience bringing you fulfillment and joy? ________________________________________ How did we get so deeply into instant gratification? How did we get so far away from receiving satisfaction from doing things that take some time? A good ...
Views: 1504 - ***Addiction To Getting Things Done - by Submitted on Feb 22, 2013 from Margaret PaulDiscover when getting things done is healthy, and when it is unhealthy and obsessive. There are many addictive ways that most of us have learned to avoid our painful feelings, and focusing on getting things done is often one of these ways. It's not that there is anything wrong with ...
Views: 1649 - ***Anger And Other Forms of Control - by Submitted on Mar 03, 2015 from Margaret PaulIf you grew up in a family where one or both parents used anger to control you, then anger likely plays a role in your life now. Did you grow up with anger in your household? Did one or both of your parents use anger as a way to keep you in line and have control over you? How did you ...
Views: 1663 - ***Are You a Real Friend? - by Submitted on Dec 13, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Do you have good friends? Are you a good friend – both with yourself and with others? ________________________________________ "A real friend is one who helps us to think our noblest thoughts, put forth our best efforts, and be our best selves." ...
Views: 1248 - ***Are You a Trash Can for Others' Negativity? - by Submitted on Jul 19, 2016 from Margaret PaulBy Margaret Paul, Ph.D. July 11, 2016 Do you allow others to dump their negativity - their complaints, judgments, anger, self-centeredness and sense of entitlement - onto you? Carmen, a client of mine, told me at the end of one of her sessions, "I'm no longer willing to be a trash can ...
Views: 1098 - ***Are You Abandoning Yourself? - by Submitted on Aug 24, 2012 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Do you believe that feelings of abandonment are coming from others abandoning you - or do they come from self-abandonment? ________________________________________ When we think about abandonment, we generally think about being left by someone. But ...
Views: 1885 - ***Are You Addicted to Complaining As A Form of Control? - by Submitted on Apr 11, 2016 from Margaret PaulBy Margaret Paul, Ph.D. April 11, 2016 ________________________________________ Why do people complain? What is it they want or hope for when they complain? In this article, discover the answers to these questions, as well as what to do about it if you are addicted to complaining. ...
Views: 1554 - ***Are You Addicted to the Internet? - by Submitted on Nov 01, 2013 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Do you get addictively stuck on the Internet and can't seem to find your way out? ________________________________________ Our society provides many ways we can avoid our feelings addictively. Many people today are addicted to being on the Internet ...
Views: 1269 - ***Are You Confused About Boundaries in Relationships? - by Submitted on Mar 18, 2014 from Margaret PaulMany people confuse boundaries - which are a way of taking loving care of yourself – with controlling behavior toward others. Marilee told me in one of our early phone sessions: "I set a boundary. I told him that he couldn't speak to me that way any more." Jackson said to ...
Views: 1296 - ***Are You Eating Pink Slime? - by Submitted on Jun 20, 2012 from Margaret Paul________________________________________ Are you putting 'pink slime' in your body without knowing it? ________________________________________ ABC news did a story about ‘pink slime’—an additive that is in 70% of the meat in super markets. See: ...
Views: 2267 - ***Are You Enmeshed With Your Children? - by Submitted on Jun 20, 2008 from Margaret PaulThe Encarta World English Dictionary defines "enmesh" as "to entangle somebody or something in something from which it is difficult to be extricated or separated." Are you entangled with your children in a way that is limiting both you and your children? Parents may enmesh with children when ...
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