The Difference Between Suppression and Removal of a Vital Reaction, Part 2

Most people simply “live” their lives and carry out whatever feeling, mood or impetus may be impacting them at the moment. They “become” that movement, whether it is happiness and joy, hunger, anger, ennui, fatigue, or some concentrated state of mind, etc. Their awareness, their conscious existence is totally wrapped up in those movements of energy in their being. Few are those who feel a degree of ‘separation’ such that they can actually observe these changes of moods with conscious awareness and recognise the causal links, the situational causes and their reactions.

The spiritual aspirant, as he advances in the yogic process, begins to achieve this observational separateness, and as he does so, he begins to develop the ability to recognise patterns, antecedents to specific responses and reactions and thereby, to both anticipate and respond more definitively and consciously to whatever energetic mood comes upon him. He may still experience all of the same things, but he has at least a part of his being that is not totally involved and which can begin to exert its influence and its focus to change the result over time, whether to overcome a particular habit or pattern, or to redirect the energy and attention in the direction of the spiritual quest. Of particular value is the tuning of the consciousness to the spiritual force and opening up the being to its action and influence. This is the power that can offset all the small, negative actions that take place as part of the normal human life.

The Mother writes: “But one must first be clear and sincere enough to see the conflict within oneself. Usually one doesn’t pay any attention to these things. One goes from one extreme to the other. You see, you can say, to put it in very simple words: one day I am good, the next day I am bad. And this seems quite natural…. Or even, sometimes for one hour you are good and the next hour you are wicked; or else, sometimes the whole day through one is good and suddenly one becomes wicked, for a minute very wicked, all the more wicked as one was good! Only, one doesn’t observe it, thoughts cross one’s mind, violent, bad, hateful things, like that…. Usually one pays no attention to it. But this is what must be caught! As soon as it manifests you must catch it like this (Mother makes a movement) with a very firm grip, and then hold it, hold it up to the light and say, ‘No! I don’t want you! I – don’t – want – you! I have nothing to do with this! You are going to get out of here, and you won’t return!’ “

(After a silence) And this is something — an experience that one can have faily, or almost… when one has those movements of great enthusiasm, great aspiration, when one suddenly becomes conscious of the divine goal, the urge towards the Divine, the desire to take part in the divine work, when one comes out of oneself in a great joy and great force… and then, a few hours later, one is miserable for a tiny little thing; one indulges in so petty, so narrow, so commonplace a self-interestedness, has such a dull desire… and all the rest has evaporated as if it did not exist. One is quite accustomed to contradictions; one doesn’t pay attention to this and that is why all these things live comfortably together as neighbours. One must first discover them and prevent them from intermingling in one’s consciousness: decide between them, separate the shadow from the light. Later one can get rid of the shadow.”

Sri Aurobindo and the Mother, Looking from Within, Chapter 4, Ordeals and Difficulties, pp.85-86