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ACOA DOUBLE BINDS - Either way we lose ourselves, to stay loyal to the family
If you’d like to know about double binds, go to pg. 10 of www.acoarecovery.com.
ACoAs have a terrible dilemma:
1. On the one hand we desperately want to be loved, acknowledged, seen, heard. We complain bitterly ... Views: 1815
Violent crime has been closely associated with substance abuse since Prohibition was in effect in the United States more than 80 years ago. Since then rates of violent crime have skyrocketed, especially in the decades after the US government took up an active war on drugs. But while a great deal ... Views: 1813
I am a first time author and I have written a book about my own personal experience. My direct web page –
http://chipmunkapublishing.co.uk/shop/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=1822
After an accident in which I injured my back, I was ill health retired. This has given me the time ... Views: 1800
How to cope with your abuser?
Sometimes it looks hopeless. Abusers are ruthless, immoral, sadistic, calculated, cunning, persuasive, deceitful - in short, they appear to be invincible. They easily sway the system in their favor.
Here is a list of escalating countermeasures. They represent the ... Views: 1798
In order for drugs to affect the brain they must first be put into the body. There are five methods of drug use which allow drugs to enter the body: swallowing, smoking, snorting, through suppositories and injecting.
1. Swallowing
Ingesting or swallowing drugs is the most common method of ... Views: 1795
When there has been abuse, sexual, physical, emotional and verbal it's tough to forgive, darn near impossible. I know because I've been in each of these situations, so I speak from my heart and soul, to yours, with love, respect and light.
The abuser went to prison for his actions. Well ... Views: 1794
This posting is about forgiveness. I don’t know about you, but most of the time when I have seen forgiveness addressed it involves the actions of two or more persons. This posting will take a more focused view where it mainly involves action of a single person.
Part of improving oneself leads ... Views: 1794
After years of struggling as a writer, by 1996, I had written two books, had publishers interested in both, and had walked away each time. Finally, in complete frustration, I gave up the dream of being a writer. I still felt something was locking up my writing, but I had no idea what it was. ... Views: 1794
Grief – it’s a word we can all relate to, if we have ever suffered the pain of losing someone close to us. It’s a word that is associated with love, the empty feeling it leaves behind as the bottom of our world falls out. It’s a word that is associated with death, as we try to move on in our ... Views: 1791
Discovering that your child is being sexually exploited through the internet is a highly traumatic experience for both parent and child. Your child may be panicking, frightened that they have done wrong and will be punished, so much so that it may be hard to get any information from them. ... Views: 1791
(I use "she" throughout this article but it applies to male victims as well)
Contrary to popular misconceptions, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and Acute Stress Disorder (or Reaction) are not typical responses to prolonged abuse. They are the outcomes of sudden exposure to severe or ... Views: 1789
Caring about someone with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) tosses you on a roller coaster ride from being loved and lauded to abandoned and bashed. Being a borderline (having BPD) is no picnic, either. You live in unbearable psychic pain most of the time on the border between reality and ... Views: 1784
Writing poetry based in personal experience gives us a chance to focus on small, manageable pieces of past events and transform them into art. When we turn our painful memories into poetry, we remember our experiences, validate them and examine them from a new perspective. As we write, we ... Views: 1784
It is time to treat the whole person including emotional and subconscious aspects originating domestic violence and move beyond the current theory of behavioral and book solutions. When treating the whole person results are effective and long term, not the usual shallow help. Growing into ... Views: 1779
What do Mother’s Against Drunk Driving (MADD) and The National Football League (NFL) have in Common?
They are Partners.
The NFL partnered with MADD in 2010 and endorsed their “Campaign to Eliminate Drunk Driving”.
“MADD and the National Football League joined forces in 2010 to ... Views: 1779
Drug testing at homes, workplaces, schools, and sports is important as it helps to identify drug addiction among teenagers, employees, students, and athletes respectively. Performing drug testing using multi-panel urine drug test is easy, convenient, and provides quick results. Multi-panel urine ... Views: 1778
The shocking death of the pop star Whitney Houston brings prescription drug use and abuse into the spotlight once again. The deadly combination of Lorazepam, Diazepam, Xanax, and sleeping medications killed Houston in her bathtub at the Beverly Hilton.
Clearly this is not an isolated event ... Views: 1773
Abusive Behavior Part 2
By Wayne L. Misner
(MenDontListen@aol.com)
12. Do you physically force or emotionally coerce your partner to have sex?
The breakdown of the 98.43% who answered:
... Views: 1769
Narcissists Need to Show Perfection to the World, At Any Cost
There is an elderly woman I know (whom I will not name) whose narcissism is so severe that it is physically destroying her. This woman has been suffering from a painful auto-immune disease for thirty-five years.
Progressively ... Views: 1769
A controlling parent can have as much a crippling effect on an adult child as on an intimate partner. And I’m sure you know why.
But help for that adult child is touch and go. There are no shelters for them, yet they have many of the same financial issues as battered women.
If they haven’t ... Views: 1767
OWNING MY T.E.A
You may push my buttons, but I’m responsible for my Thoughts, Emotion & Actions
WHAT IS IT?
In it’s simplest form: honestly admitting, to ourselves, first of all, what we feel, think & have done - or - not. (Review T.E.A. - Thoughts, Emotions, Actions, pg 54 ) “I cannot ... Views: 1765
A stagnant stigma
Let us take good look at the stagnant stigma surrounding abuse and see abuse for what it really is: an oppressed, suppressed, repressed mighty universal power that has been stolen – mostly feminine.
Now look closer. It takes extraordinary resilience and endurance to ... Views: 1763
Are you frustrated with someone you care about who appears to be the victim of a perpetrator? Do you find yourself getting angry for this person?
We all have examples of these situations and we often struggle with what to say, how much time to spend with the victim, and how to continue being ... Views: 1763
Do you have to discover ways to stop smoking cigarettes? How many times have you commented to yourself or somebody else, “I really should discontinue using tobacco,” only to turn around and blaze still another cigarette? In the event you are like most smokers, your response may be: “A great ... Views: 1762
The road was long, dusty and rough. It went on winding through the forest and was strewn with rocks and ruts, which was hard on the feet. A lone pair of soft leather slippers worn by a tired peasant trod along its path. The road started up a hill, passing under a large oak tree overhanging the ... Views: 1756
Ten Ways to Prevent Narcissistic Re-victimization
One of the greatest fears of those in recovery from narcissistic abuse is re-victimization. People feel powerless against the covert mind control used by narcissists to trap unknowing victims. Knowledge is power. Awareness is protection. ... Views: 1756
“It will get better.” This is the common statement to victims of bullying, often made by celebrities – celebrities who were once bullied themselves. And there is also this common belief that once a victim leaves high school and moves onto college, it’s over.
It’s Not Over
Not so fast. ... Views: 1754
It's very possible the questionnaire can be skewed in various ways. For a number of reasons more women have filled out the form. It’s possible that men who have been abused may be too embarrassed to admit it. Mirroring the old joke of men not asking for directions, it seems they ... Views: 1753
We are entering a mind field here where the only way to find the right help for you is by trial and error, in my own experience I spent so many years doing just that. At times I felt as if here was no one out there that could ever fill those shoes. The key here is to consider other aspects of ... Views: 1753
WHAT IS CHILDHOOD ABUSE?
Child abuse can take the form of any act of emotional, physical or sexual abuse perpetrated against a child. Child abuse can also take the form of neglect: ignoring the child's emotional and or physical needs. Child abuse can take place inside and outside of the ... Views: 1750
If your youth work in a low paid job in the very tender age of their life then your nation can never bring anything good to your country or to the world in bigger aspect. Children are the future of the nation. But the financial problem is highly responsible in the poor families which leads the ... Views: 1747
When I was six years old I felt very connected with God. I had a sense of peace about my world, and knew, I just knew, that one day I would become a famous writer. It was a sense of destiny that was as tangible as anything I’ve experienced since. I started my first novel at age 13, something ... Views: 1747
Have you been a victim or do you know someone who's a victim of Narcissistic Abuse and Betrayal? Are you getting a Divorce? Do you want to learn more about Codependency and People Pleasing? Learn why havingAuthenticity and Backbone will help you.
Be among the first to see my newest blog ... Views: 1745
2001, I remember looking in
the mirror, asking myself...
”Why can't I stop drinking?"
I lost all hope in who I was and hurt so much, that I could not bear it any longer.You see, I was chronic alcoholic. Everyday, when I woke up I felt the ever present feeling of impending doom. That ... Views: 1743
It just happened.
You discover an infidelity; a partner signals an intention to separate; someone has passed away; there’s been some kind of personal tragedy.
In the midst of anguish life feels totally out of control; is turned upside down; is overwhelming. Anguish, in the midst of a ... Views: 1743
Straight off the top… Addicts for one reason or another, have a problem coping with every day life in our Society! Drugs fill some void in their life, family or personality. A large number of people, who progress to the stage of drug use that is Addiction, are self-medicating! Many Addicts’ ... Views: 1742
Abusers exploit, lie, insult, demean, ignore (the "silent treatment"), manipulate, and control.
There are a million ways to abuse. To love too much is to abuse. It is tantamount to treating someone as an extension, an object, or an instrument of gratification. To be over-protective, not to ... Views: 1738
Every month should be Child Abuse Prevention Month. As a parent educator, mother of three children and former preschool teacher, I am appalled by the growing rate of child abuse, neglect, maltreatment and murders in our country.
Why is it that, in a country such as ours, where we are always ... Views: 1736
For almost every battered woman and abused man I work with, there is a layman’s label attached to the core of their self-perception. This label is typically bestowed upon them by their battering partner or by allies supporting his/her plight to save face and to discredit and silence the ... Views: 1727
April is Child Abuse Prevention Month in the US, where 906,000 children are victims of abuse or neglect every year.
Risk factors include family history of abuse, stress and lack of support, alcohol or drug abuse, and domestic violence. The majority of children in out-of-home care are victims ... Views: 1724
Violence in the family is a major source of teen female violence. The future well-being of a society is directly linked to its ability to care for and educate its young. Families that cannot successfully care for their young, nurture the seeds of future violence and criminality. Until we learn ... Views: 1723
When are people going to get real?
When society reads in the newspaper or catches on local news channels the headlines: Murder-Suicide, Domestic Abuse Homicide, or Workplace Violence, they are intrigued out of the common interest that everyone has been frustrated in a relationship at home, ... Views: 1722
Healing from an abusive relationship is one of the hardest things to do. Many people never truly heal, and thus stay a victim for the rest of their life. Learn how you can start the healing process to become a better you! Healing from an abusive relationship is one of the hardest things to ... Views: 1721
There is no ‘cook-book’ Relationship Advice solution for an unhealthy abusive relationship. Being involved in a relationship that has reached the point where it’s a constant cycle of abuse is not healthy for either partner and unfortunately there is no ‘quick-fix’ for this type of situation. ... Views: 1721
The reason why parents hire nannies is to keep watch over their kids while they are away from home. Sadly, the very nannies that parents hire are the ones who commit child abuse to the children, without the parents knowing it. If you notice your child being afraid of going back home right after ... Views: 1721
The truck I stole to have a place to sleep was a white Toyota with yellow and orange stripes, lifted with fat tires and no power steering. Everything I owned was stuffed into a dark green hefty trash bag, including a birthday card my mom had managed to get to me when I had turned 16. At the ... Views: 1720
Abuse by proxy continues long after the relationship is officially over (at least as far as you are concerned). The majority of abusers get the message, however belatedly and reluctantly. Others – more vindictive and obsessed – continue to haunt their ex-spouses for years to come. ... Views: 1719
Talk of Tigers
(Written March 9, 1990)
"Tell me about your tiger," she said. They were at the zoo, standing in front of the tiger cage. A huge, restless Bengal tiger paced back and forth the length of the cage. His eyes looked devoid of life, cold, neutral. The huge paws silently padded up ... Views: 1719